Everything has changed

[SarahMarie]

I don't know if you remember my original post(s) IT'S A LONG ONE ETC.... but since then, everything has changed (I think).

 

Well the guy and I ran into each other on Sunday night. (this was the first time we were actually alone since all of that happened a few weeks ago). He asked to talk to me. He opened up and told me all of the reasons he was afraid to get close to someone. After hours of talking, he asked if I could be exclusive with him. He admitting to having strong feelings for me all along but was very scared and stubborn about acting on them. I was shocked and very happy at the same time. I really have been waiting for him to do this for quite a while. (I know he chased me for many months prior to the last few weeks, but it was always with an indifferent aura about it)

I'm very scared but I really like him more than my comfort allows. I really just want to be with him now which is the first time I felt like this with anyone since my last long term relationship which ended about a year ago.

 

I expressed my reluctance to get invovled with him. I told him that I was nervous because of his behavior with me and the 3 girls he publicly dated since our argument(s) a few weeks back.

He said , "All of those months of you making it clear that you don't want to be involved with me hurt me", " I was scared of you and my feelings for you , my behavior had everything to do with my feelings for you", "I never made a commitment to those girls but I'm want to make one with you now". "I know we will be great together". "I promise to be respectful and honest and reliable". He also admitted that he was extremely scared that I would hurt him. I told him I was scared he would hurt me. He was very relieved that I was as nervous as he was.

 

I never saw this side of him and although I imagined it, I never really thought he'd be able to say all of that to me.

Monday (yesterday) I thought alot about it. I figured I should give him the benefit of the doubt but in my mind I was very scared that he would let me down.

At that point, I really didn't know what to expect.

Well, here is where we are. The last thing he said to me Sunday night was "I'll call you when I get home from work tomorrow". It was casual but I heard it.

He didn't call. It's Tuesday morning now and I have no idea what is going through his head or how I should react if and when he calls.

I don't want to make a big deal out of a "call you tomorrow" comment but I feel like it being the first day after our decision to be together, it was an important phone call. I'm not a guy. Does he think that too? Maybe he's freaking out because of all he said to me Sunday. I just don't know.

 

I thought about just telling him forget it but I so much don't want to do that. I'm afraid his stubbornness would cause his reaction to be "OK" to that. I really want to give him a chance. Was yesterday's phone call his chance? I don't know.

Is it possible he was testing me by didn't call to see what my reaction is? The last girl he dated freaked out on him and cried and followed him everywhere. She called him constantly and totally overwhelmed him. We have mutual friends so I know all of those details.

Yes, I spend alot of time harping on relationship details, but I'm certainly do not overwhelm guys. I rarely call and I don't drive by houses or stalk people. I guess you can say, I know how to 'play the game' which I don't consider playing a game but simply displaying respect for myself.

With this guy, I am at a loss of how to behave. Before his next contact with me, I need to know how to handle this relationship.

Is he an unusual character or just a typical scared guy?

Please help me figure this out. I really want to be with this guy and I don't want to mess it up. Unfortunately, I feel this is a very fragile relationship right now. I want to get passed that without ending it before it even really starts.

[velvet]

Have you heard from him yet? If not I would be concerned now. After all he did tell you how he feels and there is no reason he would make anything like that up for.

 

There could be many reasons why he missed calling you. I wouldn't get upset until he has told you why he did.

[SarahMarie]

Thank you Velvet.

I just got a new cell phone about a month ago and I only gave him the number once and it was weeks ago. I thought maybe he didn't have it.

Anyway, he didn't have the number and he did call my old cell number Monday which was a work cell and still being used by someone else in my old company. So it's been verified that he called.

He asked me to go to dinner tonight so it may be ok.

 

I guess I'm just very nervous about this relationship. I will try to calm down about it.

Jeez, I feel like a teenager.

[velvet]

I've been told that those feelings don't get easier as we grow older. Than again I've been told they do. Go figure?

 

Have a Wonderful time on your date!