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Mixed signals? What do u think?


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menngan wang

Hey, I'm new here but I thought i may need some advice. Long story short.

 

I work with this woman at a bar for about a year, and have gotten to be pretty tight in the last few months or so. We are pretty good friends, however I think I have begun to take a liking to her and at the same time have gotten stuck in the friend zone. Some positive signs she may give me include:

 

1. Telling me how hot i look and that she could eat me up

2. Suggesting that her and I would make a cute couple, goin as far as having us pose in front of a window to see how we would pair up

3. Giving me kisses on the cheek just cause she felt i needed one

4. Occasionally grabbing onto my arm while we are walking

5. Longer than usual gazes with that little sparkle in her eye

6. Laughing at most of what I say, seems to be happy and smiling around me. As well as txting me to wish me a good time when I go out, or wanting me to txt her when I get home to see if im alright.

7. more recently jokingly telling ppl at work that I am her boyfriend

8. Playing with my ears and stroking the back of my neck and head.

 

I'm not an idiot, these signs have a definite "obvious" sign attached to them however: on a negative note,

 

1. She has mentioned many times that she does not get involved with ppl that she works with

2. She has mentioned "friendship" and "friend" a few times

3. When we go out all the flirtatious behaviour seems to slow down, and she starts to act more "friendly" than if she was interested in me. And when I be more forward with my intentions she seems to just laugh it off or shy away.

 

4. Overall, when we get together, it seems like we are only on a friendly level of relationship

 

I know there are more positive signs than negative, but I still feel like she sends out mixed signals toward me. I don't think i am gonna spend much more time with this so I need some advice. Any input is good, should I make the next move? Do she seem interested in me romantically? Is she just a flirt? Good or bad advice is welcome. thanks

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Next time she jokes about you as her boyfriend, you should say, "Oh but I thought you didn't get involved with your co-workers?" See what her answer is.

 

Otherwise, the only way to know how she really feels is to ask -- if you feel an appopriate moment, tell her your interested in being more than friends, but you don't want to make a move without knowing how she feels about it 1st...say you've heard her talk about no involvement with co-workers, etc, so you don't want to cross any lines with her. If she's unsure, offer to take her out sometime. It sounds like she definitely likes you ;) but she's also sord of leading you on in a sense. When you say you "go out" do you mean just you 2, or is this a group outing? Cuz if your all friends, she just might not want to give the others the impression that something's going on when it really isn't -- yet anyway...

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menngan wang

Thanks lovelace, we go out as in her and I to movies, drinks, coffee, concerts, clubs...I see what u mean by her leading me on, and that thought has crossed my mind...we both hang around different groups of ppl, and the friends that she has met all tell me they think she likes me...i guess the only way to find out is to ask! The problem is I am confused as to whether or not there are enough positive signs that will justify me asking her how she feels about me, I want to avoid awkward moments where what i thought is totally different from what she thinks

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Seems to me like she uses you for an ego boost and spends time with you so she isn't lonely. Best if you directly ask her is she loves you or not so you don't go nuts over this.

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