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Archive A collection of the original messages posted on LoveShack.org's LoveTalk Forum from 1997-2001.

Old 3rd November 2000, 4:33 PM   #1
Paulie
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Paulie's Therapy

One common theme in my therapy is how to acheive a certain state of mind that I desire at that particular point in time.

For example, confidence. I'll ask my therapist how to get the confidence to call a girl that I really like.

"Fake it to Make it."

I run into my old girlfriend, and almost crumble. How do I get the strength to be strong?

"Fake it to Make it."

I feel uncomfortable in a situation with friends of my parents, who may be a little more "socially elite" than myself. How do I gain the confidence to become as confident as them in this setting?

"Fake it to Make it."

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Clearly, this is a strategy that covers a wide variety of situations in life, and as I have found, in social situations. The meaning behind this should not be confused with "faking, or Lying" about how you feel in a given situation.

What is meant by this is that most of us innately have the strengths of character to fare extremely well in ANY situation. It just takes something else to overcome our insecurities, perceived limits, and (this is the most important part,

TO SHOW OURSELVES THAT WE ARE CAPABLE OF acting, or feeling a certain way.

-------------

I bring this to the forum, as I see alot of people trying to COPE with situations, trying to gather strength in order to do something, or deal with somebody.

Fake it To Make It.
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Old 3rd November 2000, 5:08 PM   #2
Paulie
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WEEKEND

I WILL HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!

It's all that I make it!!

Have a good weekend everybody!
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Old 3rd November 2000, 6:20 PM   #3
Tony T
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Re: Paulie's Therapy

Fake it To Make It.

If you can fake it to make it, you have no problem.

What is the difference between faking it and making it if the result is the same?
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Old 3rd November 2000, 7:13 PM   #4
Taressa
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Re: Paulie...?

So Paulie,

Fake it to make it... With repeated faking yourself through the situation, it becomes natural again? A confidence building exercise?

And is it the DOING of it that changes you or is it the positive responses WHILE doing it that change or rebuild you? Is it like an actor playing a part who in turn somewhat becomes the person he portrays?

Here's hoping you'll have your confidence and complete happiness back soon, Paulie; no more faking and no more illusions of bones. Hang in there.

Have a good weekend.
 
Old 4th November 2000, 5:34 PM   #5
Paulie
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Re: Paulie's Therapy

It's more along the lines of what Taressa refers to.

And Taressa, in response to your questions, I would answer that both of your ideas are correct.

As we try to acheive a certain state of mind, attitude, confidence, etc, if we "fake it," or feign the very attitude that we desire to have, we see the benefits that result therefrom, AS WELL AS having the additional benefit of maybe having that behavior become part of our habitual daily patterns.

It seems to me that Taressa has a good grip on maybe what I'm trying to explain. I wish I was as eloquent as my therapist, but I think you guys get the point. And Taressa, thanks for the compliments and uplifting words. Means alot. Good luck with Billy-Boy.

Later,

Paulie
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