our lovers often see the clearest, brutally honest reflection of themselves in us ... and sometimes the reality is just so hard to fathom that they prefer to leave us than face it. just as love brings out the best in us, so it does the worst.
i've been having some interesting thoughts today based on my personal experience and I'll try to elaborate what I feel may be just another "unspoken" reason (out of many possible reasons) that dumpers dump dumpees
... i feel this one is more likely in situations where the dumper has no good explaination for the breakup and refuse to want to talk about it or have "closure" .. hmmm
we all think of ourselves as very special, unique .. and while we know we have certain faults, we all like to think of ourselves in a more positive light than not (this is true generally speaking but may not apply to low self esteem folks) .. in this PC western society, our friends, family and colleagues just reinforce this false notion that we are so much better than everyone else ... think of it, how many "friends" or family really call your bull[COLOR=red]*[/COLOR][COLOR=red]*[/COLOR][COLOR=red]*[/COLOR][COLOR=red]*[/COLOR]? most superficial friends in today's worlds don't want to go there ... specially here in metropolitan USA, most friends are ... well ... fake. on the other hand, most of our casual friends, family are going to usually say nice things about us, boost our egos ...
the ones that do call your BS, are the ones closest to you ... more often than not, your lover. your lover will bring forth all the faults in you ... like upholding a mirror to your face.
i posted a message earlier on some thread saying that i believe I learnt the most lessons in life from past relationships, particularly my most recent EX. and she sure as hell learned a lot about herself too ... i know this because she talked to her friend about how much she learned about herself from being with me .. blah blah blah.
i may be oversimplifying this but most people do not want to face their own faults. people want to avoid seeing themselves in a lesser light than they believe themselves to be, or want to avoid situations that reflect their own shortcomings … and so they leave. almost ashamed of themselves for being shown who they really are – ok the last sentence may be too drastic, but do you get my point?
Of course, both me the dumpee and her the dumper will learn our lessons, hopefully improve ourselves and be better people for it. Depending on how glaring these shortcomings/faults are … it may be easier to let go of the painful relationship, fix own problems, and find new love … because staying in the relationship that reflected our own shortcomings is always going to be like the broken glass that was glued together …?
Thoughts?
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