I've been looking online for some advice, found a couple useful things but thought I would post something I see what I got back. I appreciate any advice
I am a 20 year old female who dated the same guy all throughout high school -- we'll say his name is Jon -- on and off for about 4 years. We were each others first every and anything. While I do believe we loved each other, it was a bad relationship. We were too young to be as serious as we were, and it was a lot of fighting and misunderstandings that eventually led to cheating on each other, and officially ended with him leaving me for another girl.
That actually worked out well, as I left for school around the same time and was able to be away from him and heal. Throughout our years together, I had obviously gotten to be very close with all of Jon's friends. Jon's best friend, we'll call him Matt, was so much fun and I always enjoyed being around him. We always kind of had a flirting thing going on, but never thought anything of it. I was his best friend's girlfriend, nothing *could* really happen.
Anyway, it's been three years since Jon and I have been apart. While I grew up and went away to school, Jon stayed at home and didn't really do anything with his life, got **** on by the girl he ditched me for, and tells me on regular basis how much he misses me and still loves me. I do not respond to his messages at all, and if I do it's to say that I do not share any of these feelings.
A few months ago at the beginning of summer, Matt and I started hanging out for old times sake. It was around this time that I started losing feelings for my college boyfriend, we'll say Shane, of two years. After I was spending just about every minute with Matt (Shane lives 4 hours away during the summer), I realized everything I was lacking in my relationship with Shane and broke it off. Now Matt and I are basically together, besides being 5 hours apart at school. Matt and I have both had our share of good and bad relationships to know what we want.
The thing that is holding us back is actually Jon! Even though Matt and Jon barely see each other because of geographic distances, Jon found out Matt and I had been hanging out and is furious with Matt. It has been 3 years! Are Matt and I wrong for wanting a relationship? Jon and I had been very serious when we were together, and Matt and Jon had been best friends their whole lives... but a lot changes in three years, and I think it is completely unfair that Jon will not even talk to Matt about it.
I don't want Matt to lose a lifelong friend because of a relationship.. but isn't three years enough justification? Thanks... Christine
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