[konfuzd]

Alright, it's another week, and another crush. I feel like I am re-living junior high school.

If any of you remember some other posts I've made, the most recent was a guy I met at a concert and was kicking myself for not getting his number. Well, last night was the concert I was hoping to meet up with him again. I ended up going with someone I'd "met" on Myspace whom I'd never met in person up until last night. (I never ended up even looking for the other guy.)

I use Myspace mostly just to keep up to date with the local music scene, and chat with other fans who can introduce me to new bands etc. I don't have any of the dating options set up under "what I'm here for" and neither did this guy. Judging purely on his profile and photos (totally superficially), I wasn't attracted to him. We have talked on the phone several times, so I felt comfortable enough to meet in person, he seemed really genuine.

I soon discovered that he simply is not a photogenic person. He was incredibly attractive in the flesh, and our personalities are pretty well matched.

At the end of the show, he invited me back to his place (just to listen to tunes). We hung out for a bit, there seemed to be a bit of flirting going on, but nothing more. At the end of the night, there was kind of an awkwardness, so I opened my arms for a hug, and it was a really nice tight one (not the two pats on the back, grandma style). That was the extent of it.

I know a lot of guys on here don't believe that men and women can 'just be friends', but I'm not sure. We did talk briefly about our reasons for going on Myspace, and he said about the same as I did above, just for music related reasons and to keep in touch with friends who had moved away.

Sorry for making this so long, but if you've read this far, I gues my question really is: what are the chances he is looking to be "just friends"? Do guys actually meet with girls if they have no interest in them? (If it makes a difference, he's 30 and I'm 25).

[Yamaha]

At 30 I doubt he is just looking at you as a friend.
The next time you meet I would let yourself get closer and maybe hold his hand and see how he responds. If he doesn't feel awkward and back off then he is interested. Give him some good eye contact and let him know you like him. The look of interest is totally different from friends and very easy to pick up on.

[Hitman10000]

If he keeps asking you out and the chemistry is there, it's cool.

[konfuzd]

I don't know how many more mindgames I can handle, this is out of control!
Here's what happened:

He asked me to go to a house party on wednesday night, wanted me to meet all his friends, which I thought was cool, good sign. It turns out I know a couple of his friends through my ex. It was a great night, and we made plans to camp on his friend's lawn on Saturday night. Spending the night together, another good sign, right? So you'd think.

We got together again last night. Three nights in a row... another good sign, I could feel the flirtation vibes growing, so I decided I'd give it a shot....

As it turns out, he just got out of a 6 year relationship... by "just" I mean a few weeks ago. He said that he needed to be alone, as he hasn't been single since he was 18. Fair enough, sucks for me, but I can totally understand.

Now here's where it gets really wierd: He said that he needs to live out the bachelor lifestyle and doesn't ever want to be in a relationship again. (hopefuly just the heartbreak speaking?) Then ge goes on to say that one of the reasons he and his ex split up was that she can't have kids.... does that sound odd to anyone else?

So I made it clear to him that I was not about to help him in his bachelor life experience, being some little play thing for him. I guess we can still be "friends"... Bummer.

[thelipless]

Originally Posted by konfuzd

Then ge goes on to say that one of the reasons he and his ex split up was that she can't have kids.... does that sound odd to anyone else?

Not to me, it seems like he wants kids, and his Ex couldnt provide that...

if your really interested in him, give him time to heal from the previous relationship, 6 years is an amazingly long time...

[konfuzd]

What I found odd about it, is that he said he doesn't ever want to be in another relationship. He said he's been there, doesn't want to go there again...

If he never wants to be in a relationship again, why would kids even be an issue? He is 30, and will need to make that decision sooner than later. Not saying that I'm looking to have kids right away, but I'm at a point in my life where I want the security of a relationship that will eventually lead in that direction.

I know it's really, really early to be worrying about such things, but I don't know whether I should hold on to the hope that one day he will heal and we'll be together, or if I should pursue other avenues. <sigh>

[Hitman10000]

Sure, you can hope he may change his mind but you should keep your "For Sale" sign on yourself for another guy who is willing to buy.

[Zankon]

If he just got out of a 6 years relationship I can almost assure you even if things happen you'll be the rebound girl (just a tool to forget the past).
And yes he will want space and a bachelor life to check what he's been missing on these years. if I were you, I wouldnl't put efforts into this... friendship will be good i guess... don t sell urself cheap

[Yamaha]

What he wants is a FWB relationship with you.
It seems you are looking for a more permanent relationship so I don't think the goals are the same for the 2 of you.
I would move on and not wait for him to change his mind as it may take years if ever.