I am so crushed... and need advice. My husband and I work at the same office/company. Starting in March he and a woman that works for him starting flirting. I realized this a few months into it. This flirting is no longer going on because when I did recognize it I told him it needed to stop. I pushed my husband to tell me if more happened and he finally admitted that they kissed once. I am struggling to believe that is all that happened. To make it worse I was pregnant at the time... Now we have a 2 month old baby boy. I am so sad and hurt that this flirting and in appropriote behavior went on for months and I am now learning that many people in the office knew/know of the behavior. What do you think I should do?
Write a letter to your husband's workplace. Put it in a way such as you are a third person who witnessed the actions and were offended. Mention the sexual harrassment laws and how you think this is inappropriate in the workplace. Make sure it's written without anger or malice. And send it to the owner or person in charge. It can be written anonymously also. The more people in charge who know about the situation, the harder it will be for the ones involved. May seem underhanded but it does work.
__________________ "What does not kill me, makes me that much stronger" ~Justice~
Write a letter to your husband's workplace. Put it in a way such as you are a third person who witnessed the actions and were offended. Mention the sexual harrassment laws and how you think this is inappropriate in the workplace. Make sure it's written without anger or malice. And send it to the owner or person in charge. It can be written anonymously also. The more people in charge who know about the situation, the harder it will be for the ones involved. May seem underhanded but it does work.
That'll help a bunch. Most employers don't have the time or resources to deal with this kind of thing in the workplace. In most cases it's easier to pick one of them and hand them a pink slip.
Will the posters life be better with an unemployed spouse?
The advice you receive is largely going to depend on what it is you want to do. Do you want to remain married? Does your husband regret what he did? Does he take responsibility for it? Is he remorseful, contrite, or does he think it was no big thing? Dealing with those issues will be the big thing for you. Getting past the pain of the betrayal will be difficult. Getting past the humiliation of other knowing will be far less difficult in the long run.
Are you sure that you are just not over-reacting? You posted that it was "flirting" and a "kiss" without explainations.
A "kiss" under the mistletoe at a party, a peck? Or a passionate romantic kiss? There has been no damage to your marriage yet, just a concern. If you choose to continue to obsess isn't there a chance you will be the one doing the damage?
It appears there is a double standard. If the genders were switched, the advice would be "Never do it again", and pay more attention to your husband, it's a "crush" that will pass with time.
Remember nobody should be blamed currently for behavoir that has ceased, or never happened. "A kiss" is not infedility.
Are you sure that you are just not over-reacting? You posted that it was "flirting" and a "kiss" without explainations.
A "kiss" under the mistletoe at a party, a peck? Or a passionate romantic kiss? There has been no damage to your marriage yet, just a concern. If you choose to continue to obsess isn't there a chance you will be the one doing the damage?
It appears there is a double standard. If the genders were switched, the advice would be "Never do it again", and pay more attention to your husband, it's a "crush" that will pass with time.
Remember nobody should be blamed currently for behavoir that has ceased, or never happened. "A kiss" is not infedility.
Whoa....... just because you do not consider it cheating some may, including myself....... some think oral sex is not cheating.
__________________ MAY THE FORK BE WITH YOU -YOU TAKE THE FUN OUT OF DYSFUNCTIONAL!
Not being mean or anything here, but sexual harassment in the workplace lawsuits insure that this type of thing gets nipped in the bud. No the poster's life would not be better with an unemployed spouse but this behavior is very inappropriate at work and is usually not tolerated.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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