[PDPullmn612]

OK, well here is th deal, me and the ex have gone through a lot of stuff together and experienced a lot of feelings, both good and terrible. both of us have cheated on each other, but we lasted a year and a half. we broke up in the middle of summer, like the beginning of july and didnt talk until the end of august. we both just started in college and for about 2 weeks my ex has been telling me that she really wants me back and that she feels that im the only one for her and all of that stuff. now noramally i would just forget about it, but she seems so dead serious on having a really good relationship this time around that it is making me think. im really confused becasue i still do love her and i miss her a lot and she keeps telling me that i can trust her more now and that things will be a million times better this time around if we were to get back together. i guess what im wondering is if it would be worth giving her another chance? thanks in advance

[PDPullmn612]

no help?

[norajane]

Why did you break up in July? And how has anything changed since then? Are the issues that caused you to break up resolved or different in some way now?

Second chances don't work unless the past issues have been addressed and resolved honestly and openly. For example, if you broke up because she cheated, you're going to have a tough time being in a relationship with her unless you can trust her. Have you two spent any time together since then for you to see if she's dealing with you honestly, whether she's flirting with other guys, whether she is putting you and your needs first or if she's being selfish and still putting herself first? Would she tell you where she's going and who she's going with if you asked her? Or would she get mad at you for not trusting her?

[PDPullmn612]

hmm good questions, im not sure. i havent seen her since the end of june and yea we broke up cause she cheated i could easily go see her now if i wanted she would be willing to hang out. i understand what you are saying about the second chances not working unless we are honest with each other and that stuff. part of me is telling me to get back with her and part of me is saying not too so im just really confused about what to do. i also have this feeling that im scared at the thought of us never dating again since we have been through so much. and its not like she is half assing her efforts to get back together, i mean she seems dead serious about it and tells me how sad she is without me. my only prob is part of me cant believe her fully because of what happened and what not. but she seems really upset that we arent together. i mean my only idea was to get back together, give her another chance and take things slowly at first and see how things work out. thanks for the advice. any other input would be greatly appreciated

[PDPullmn612]

help please!!

[sugarcane05]

Just listen to your heart. Do what your hearts telling you to do.
If you've both cheated the way I see it they cancel each other out.

Everyone makes mistakes start over with a clean slate and see what happens.

If your hearts telling you, you still care about her then go for it!

[daphne]

I think she's just lonely and needs reassurance that someone still wants her. You said she's half assing it. It won't get any better than that, imo.

You're in college. There'll be a lot of other girls. You don't have to settle for someone just because you're afraid of being alone. She's clinging to you because that's what she's afraid of.

[GB111]

Unfortunately, nobody can tell you what to do. It's entirely up to you. Having said that, in my experience, and given that you've both cheated on each other, it sounds to me like you're going to be dealing with another breakup in time. Paticularly if she's not completely committed to this. You've done you're grieving. Move on. If you open the door to her, you're closing it for someone else. Why waste time with someone who isn't for you. You might just miss the one you were MEANT to be with.

GB