I share custody with my ex spouse 50-50. On the weeks when the kids are with me, she calls incessantly for bullcrap things. Did you see American Idol, how was school, what did you have or lunch etc. I feel that it is infringing on "my" time but I never deny the kids a chance to talk to their mom.
On the other hand, I rarely call when she has the kids. Am I a bad dad for this? Should I call incessantly and give her a dose of her own medicine?
She is remarried so it is not that she is pining away for me so puhleaze!
I share custody with my daughter 50/50 as well and her mother tends to call pretty often for bunk reasons, while I never call to talk to my daughter during her time. You didn't say what age your kids are, and that is kind of relevant. My daughter is four so she is too young to watch American Idol or really hold a conversation over the phone, but if your kids are older I guess that is a whole different story.
My guess is that its more of a gender thing. Guys don't usually like chatting away on the phone so thats probably why we aren't inclined to call. But women seem to love talking on the phone, even when there's nothing to talk about so it may be that your ex is simply acting on her womanly impulse to chatter. I apologize if that offends any of you ladies. Just an observation. If you have daughters then I wouldn't say anything, chances are they enjoy the phone calls, but if you have sons I would bet they don't want to talk to their mother any more than you like the phone calls coming in, so I might ask them about it and see what they think.
Good point. I have a mix of three kids ranging from 15 to 9. At this point, I have her number on my cell set to silent so I amswer if I see it, and when she calls on a week I have my kids, I just tell them to pick it up.
Somethign to be said for an ex spouse a million miles away
I think it's great that you both communicate with the kids as much as you can and want to.
My ex and I also share 50-50 and we talk almost every day, sometimes phone, sometimes email, and also talk to the kids alot. When we communicate with each other, it's pretty much just about the kids and their activities.
If I am driving him nuts and he doesn't say anything to me, that's HIS problem LOL.
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I'm not 40. I'm $39.95 plus shipping and handling.
Sorry, but you're wrong. If you don't want to talk to your kids when they're with the ex, that reflects on you.
Go read the thread with that wonderful man who has custody of his young daughter. He feels BAD when the wife comes and gets her because the daughter clings to HIM.
That woman is STILL those kids' mother. Do you not see that? How the hell does a phone call infringe on your time? Stop being a selfish bastard.
Instead of worrying about HER and her calls why don't you worry about YOU and why the hell you don't call your kids whe they are over with her.
Oh and yes, I've been where you are....my H ALWAYS called my stepson when he was with the ex...50/50 arrangement just like you...same with my ex husband...50/50 custody.
I married TWO men who cared for their kids and weren't "score keepers." And they both had exes who CARED.
Get with the program. Grow the hell up! Think about the KIDS and not about yourself.
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I gathered from your post that she talks to the kids on the phone. No she's not pining for you, she's pining for her children, she is a good mother.
When my children saw their father (don't anymore, that's another story) I would try to ring them everyday, just because I wanted to talk to them and send them a kiss down the phone and because we missed each other.
Nothing strange about it.
I gathered from your post that she talks to the kids on the phone. No she's not pining for you, she's pining for her children, she is a good mother.
When my children saw their father (don't anymore, that's another story) I would try to ring them everyday, just because I wanted to talk to them and send them a kiss down the phone and because we missed each other.
Nothing strange about it.
EXACTLY! The OP, needs a wake-up call. Stop playing games and using your kids as pawns!
the next time you switch the kids back tell her that you would like to call and chat with the kids more often but have always been too shy thinking it would infrindge on her time however they are getting older now and you would like to talk to them every night right before bed. then make sure the kids know the number and ask them to call you at bedtime.
Fred......I've seen this type of situation many times, and I hate to say it, but it seems like the Dads (a.k.a. Guys) don't have any where NEAR the phone time that Moms do.
Just speaking from personal experience here, but a lot of the guys I know don't consider chatter on the phone as 'communication' with their kids.
But it IS! Even if its something as mundane as "there was a dead deer in the driveway this morning" ! Its also a way for you to spend 5 minutes telling your children that you love them before they go to bed at night.
There doesn't need to be any deep thoughts conveyed, nor will the kids tell you any of THEIR inner secrets.....Just a way for parents to stay connected to their kids. They WILL remember this!
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There is no such thing as a Knight in Shining Armor........
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