[Icarus01]

I'm not really sure how this happens, but I think I'm commitment phobic or something and I don't want to be. As soon as my relationships begin to get deeper, its like I lose all interest in it. I don't really want to feel like that, but it just happens for some reason. Any ideas anybody?

[laRubiaBonita]

start small..... like with a plant, or a fish..... seriously. Pets/ plants are a commitment.....or take a 6 week class.

just commit yourself to SOMETHING, not a person yet, but something.

[Steph21]

A lot of times people have illusions and "requirements" about their perfect mate that prevent them from committing to anyone who seems to fall short. Sorry, no one is perfect. Learn to appreciate flaws and differentiate between major annoyances and petty preferences.

[Spiderman]

Originally Posted by Icarus01

I'm not really sure how this happens, but I think I'm commitment phobic or something and I don't want to be. As soon as my relationships begin to get deeper, its like I lose all interest in it. I don't really want to feel like that, but it just happens for some reason. Any ideas anybody?

I myself used to be a commitment phobic when I was younger. It may just simply be the case that you're not ready to settle down into a life long relationship as yet, I wasn't

Anyway, congratulations on your awareness that the problem isn't that there is some irredeemable flaw with each eligible partner who crosses your path. Rather, the dilemma is that you inevitably shy away from any perspective long term deep and meaningful relationship. When you get to this point, do you constantly find yourself looking for grounds to render an eligible partner ineligible for a lasting love connection?

Pardon me while I slip into ''shrink mode'' for a moment to ask a few psychologically pointed questions: Did your father betray your mother? Betray you? Did a first love break your heart? I'd say spending some time to exam your history may give you a better insight into why you shut down towards partners.

I suppose we see everyone who comes into our life through the prism of our own preconceptions and fears. Understanding the roots of this baggage may help dilute its power and enable you to judge each partner on their own merits and demerits and maybe not feel the need to run a mile...

[Icarus01]

I was with a girl for just under three years, needless to say it was a pretty serious relationship. We lived together for just about a year and then things just started not going too well between us. We fought all the time and the connnection was just gone. She kinda cheated on me in the last month of it all too. My past few relationships since then have almost all said to me that its like I won't let my guard down at all. I can even see it in myself, but I can't figure out how to lower it.