Changing Lifestyle

Guest

Im going through one of the hardest times of my life right now and need some help. Im being told by a S.O. and her family that im abusive, no good, and an *******. I kinda see where they come from. What hurts me the most is Ive never felt this way or acted this way before. This girl is my life and my world and I want to quit hurting her. What do I do? I am a really good person and becomeing a bad person. Im being told that I am controlling, jeaulous. I really want to change and break this cycle now. I dont have the money for professional help. The story might help.
Im 24 and the girl is 19. Im in love and yes its true love. I want to marry this girl but if I keep up I wont get the chance. This girl is wonderful to me but we have small disagreement that lead to big problems. Our biggest problem at the moment is sex. I want it she doesnt. Weve had sex on numerous ocassion before but she has taken a religous jump here lately and now doesnt want to have sex till we are married. That is not all that hard to deal with except for the fact that now it makes me feel not loved or cared for. We are falling apart and I wanna fix it. She is also very busy working two jobs and going to college fulltime. This leaves us no time and when it does leave time all she want to do is sleep becuase of exhuastion. Her family is very strict and also very close and it aggravates me when our problems become the whole families business. It also aggravates me when the family thinks that they have to have her to themselves and they are hard on her as I am. They use her and would be at a total loss when she is not there. How do you say that the apron strings need cut in a nice way. Anymore im pushed away and dealt with till last and it makes me mad. Last night we had an argument and i grabbed her arm as she walked away from me. This evidently is a big no no. To me I cant stand to have someone walk away and not face thier problems I want anwsers and want it fixed now not later. I would never hit her at all. Thats not right. But I also will not take a girl beating me and not protecting myself in some way back. Im just at my witts end and dont know what to do help me please.