[melina]

Hi

My husband is a nice guy and I don't have reason not to trust him but there is one thing that drives me mad!! He's still friends with his ex. She's married with two kids but whenever he goes on his business trip overseas they meet up. Her husband is usually there as well, as they're all friends but it still bugs me to death that he is still in contact with her.

They split up about seven years ago but she definitely was a very important person in his life and the thought of them once being together really hurts me.

is there anything I can do? I mean, I can't forbid him to see her, can i?

thank you!

[tikigods]

unless you want to come across as a controlling jealous wife then there isn't much you can do. It sounds like the meetings are innocent, in fact whats their to worry about if the husband is there as well?

I think what you need to do is come up with the root problem why this bothers you so much, are you scared he is going to cheat on you? Are you worried that he doesn't love you know? It sounds to me that this is a problem on your end, not his, and forbiding the person you lvoe from doing anything often blows up in your face. You knew she was around before you married him, why are you just now starting to freak out about it? Sometimes we just have to suck it up

[CynicalP]

If there are kids between them then the short answer is NO. As long as there are kids involved they will always be apart of each other's life in some respects.

[melina]

Thank you for your posts.

You got me wrong there. They don't have children together. She has two children with her husband.

But come on, don't your partner's exes bug you!? We got married a few months ago and she was at our wedding which really spoilt my day to a certain point ....

[tikigods]

The ones that my husband talks to don't bother me at all, in fact I am semi friends with one of them LOL. I am just secrure enough to know that he loves me, and if he wanted to be with them they would have never broken up in the first place

[whichwayisup]

If her husband wasn't there, then I would say you have every right to be upset, but seeing as she has included her husband in their friendship, it's harmless. She is his past, you are his present and future.

Next time he goes away, GO with him and meet her!

They obviously ended things on OK terms to still be friends. I highly doubt they talk on the phone or email, or see eachother other than afew times a year for dinner, which her husband accompanies her too.

Try not to feel threatened by her and that friendship. I don't believe it's a friendship either that is growing and sharing information, personal stuff...

[jmargel]

Hmm.. does your husband just say that her husband is with, or do you have more proof?

How come you have never gone on any of these trips with him? My philosophy is that you can really never just be friends with an ex. Once you loved someone it's hard to go back a few steps on the relationship/feeling scale.

I would definetly tell him how it makes you uncomfortable and if he blows it off, wait a few weeks, mention how you ran into an 'ex' of yours and see what his reaction is.