Hello,

I have experienced psychogenic erectile dysfunction. I have this feeling that because of one failure I will always be like that, and pretty much it has affected me to the point where it has become impossible to imagine me being easily aroused by a woman again. How is therapy going to help that. It is so hard for me to imagine that just by someone talking to me, I will get rid of this anxiety. Is it reversible, or is it pretty much chronic? and if it is chronic, I have just lost the love of my life, and it is devastating. Any help.

Do sex therapies really work, do they use something other than talking?

It's like living a nightmare.

[Tony T]

If you get indigestion, do you never eat again??? If you trip on a sidewalk, do you never walk again??? If you get something in your eye, do you leave your eyes closed forever???

Your logic here is highly irrational. For your information, most men have a time or two when they just can't achieve an erection. There are many causes, from stress, to diet, to the result of medication, high blood pressure, excessive masturbation, absense of sufficient visual arrousal, etc. Hey, Freddie's not up to it all the time.

I don't think you need counselling. You need a very understanding lady who will be OK and understand if you don't achieve erection. Have her be there for you and with you. If you have a lady who is kind, understanding, patient and nonjudgemental...and you know that ahead of time...you will probably beam right up.

Counselling can help as well, if you really think you need it. The counsellor may discover some underlying fear, issues from your past, or other things that cause your anticipatory anxiety and give you skills to overcome them.

This whole thing is purely psychological and you're being way too hard...or let's say, tough...on yourself. Loosen up a bit and you'll be able to stiffen up.