Hello...i've been in a relationship with my partner for about 13yrs, I am a recovering alcoholic and he is still using...My problem is that we have had no intamacy for the last 5yrs, nothing!...Oh maybe a quick kiss and hug here and there but basically that is about it...I did have back problems back then 5yrs ago, but I have had surgery to correct the problem...As I think about what could of possibly made him lose all interest in having any thing to so with me, sexually I can really see that I had a huge part in it...Alcohol has caused a lot of problems both physically and mentally with him I believe he is semi impotent I dont know, the subject is just plan taboo as far as he is concerned...Even though I am working the 12 step program and really trying to connect with my higher power, doing alot of praying, I am having real strong desires to have just a sexaul relationship with someone...There is someone in the program AA that I think about often, he knows the situation some what, and really he doesnt want to interfer...I know that he has an attraction towards me but he he not going to act on it...That fine and dandy, I really can respect him for that...I think you all can see that I am stuck between a rock and a hard place...Question, Is it wrong for me to seek out a sexaul partner just for that, or should I remain abstinant, and continue to suffer because of a moral issue?

Any thoughts that anyone would like to share, sure would be appreciated...Thanks PS I am not going to leave Him I do really love him...

[Tony T]

Whether you seek out a partner to accomodate your desires or you abstain, you will pay a price. You must act according to your own conscience, but there will be a cost for whichever decision you make.

By abstaining, your conscience remains clear.

Hi .... You are in a very tough place.. I can understand where you are coming from with this problem .. you are in a very vurnable situation and you need a friend someone you can talk to about this and bounce off some ideas to help you with this relationship.. because you do want this relationship to countine and florish...But where is your boyfriend at in this relationship too, is it a impotance thing , or has he moved on to someone else?? and you just don't know it. or does he even know how you feel?? have you sat down and talked it out. that your soul,mind and body need to be caressed, touched and you want to enjoy the touch of a man and your body is screaming for it...I hope to talk to you more about this take care and I hope all works out for you A Friend I hope????

Hello...i've been in a relationship with my partner for about 13yrs, I am a recovering alcoholic and he is still using...My problem is that we have had no intamacy for the last 5yrs, nothing!...Oh maybe a quick kiss and hug here and there but basically that is about it...I did have back problems back then 5yrs ago, but I have had surgery to correct the problem...As I think about what could of possibly made him lose all interest in having any thing to so with me, sexually I can really see that I had a huge part in it...Alcohol has caused a lot of problems both physically and mentally with him I believe he is semi impotent I dont know, the subject is just plan taboo as far as he is concerned...Even though I am working the 12 step program and really trying to connect with my higher power, doing alot of praying, I am having real strong desires to have just a sexaul relationship with someone...There is someone in the program AA that I think about often, he knows the situation some what, and really he doesnt want to interfer...I know that he has an attraction towards me but he he not going to act on it...That fine and dandy, I really can respect him for that...I think you all can see that I am stuck between a rock and a hard place...Question, Is it wrong for me to seek out a sexaul partner just for that, or should I remain abstinant, and continue to suffer because of a moral issue? Any thoughts that anyone would like to share, sure would be appreciated...Thanks PS I am not going to leave Him I do really love him...

Hi .... You are in a very tough place.. I can understand where you are coming from with this problem .. you are in a very vurnable situation and you need a friend someone you can talk to about this and bounce off some ideas to help you with this relationship.. because you do want this relationship to countine and florish...But where is your boyfriend at in this relationship too, is it a impotance thing , or has he moved on to someone else?? and you just don't know it. or does he even know how you feel?? have you sat down and talked it out. that your soul,mind and body need to be caressed, touched and you want to enjoy the touch of a man and your body is screaming for it...I hope to talk to you more about this take care and I hope all works out for you A Friend I hope????

In response to a friend, and Tony...

thanks for responding to my message, my sig other is not seeing someone else, unless you consider the bottle and of course his hands...I told him today that he is taking me for granted, and ask him if he considered taking viagra, for his impotency...His statment was "what and have a heart attack"! I guess that answers our questions I think he is just comfortable were he is at and my feelings dont seem to matter...He always seems to think that I have a bad attitude about things just because of my moods...which are fine, since being in recovery anger and other emotions are to be surpressed and looked at on my part...Its just easy to let it go and let god...But I cant help my feelings, he knows I wont leave him because of finances at this time...still torn...Thanks again. TGIB