[Diver012]

Hey there!

As the months drag on, litterally, I am feeling better and a little more like my old self every day. I have posted many threads on here, and have tried to offer my advice, as biased as it has been sometimes, as some sort of thank you for everyones support. As I am sitting here in the middle of a tropical storm, I thought I would type up a little update on how I feel.

First, I dont see myself as a victim. Life is life. It sucks sometimes. I will look back on what happened here and see it as a growing experience. Life to me isn't about who or what we end up with, but more on how we learn to cherish what we do have, and not sit and complain about what we dont. Its human nature to get down and wonder "Why is this happening to me?" I do it. Everyone does. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair. Well, it aint fair. But nothing we do is gonna make life turn around and say.. gee, im sorry that happened to you, lemme make it up to you some how.

At 35 years old I found myself involved in a relationship that suddenly felt like "The One" That was a first for me. We discussed moving in together, getting married, right up to the point when we broke up. As a matter of fact, I remember a conversation in which she told me not to buy a lawn tractor, as she already had one, and it would be a waist to buy another because we were gonna end up together. A week later I was dumped. I cant possible imagine what its like for people who are married to go through a divorce. To say those words before God, then to have it end must be gut wrenching. I have wined and complained enough. I consider myself lucky to be in the position I am. I have my own house. There are no kids between us. No obligations at all other than we work together. Thats plenty enough.

I had to stop and face the fact that there was no way a life with this woman was ever possible. That was a hard one to accept. But the fact of the matter is at the first sign of trouble, she bailed. For those who are struggling with similar situations, do you really want to end up with someone in a marriage thats just going to split when things get tough. I know this person felt wonderful to you, but allow yourself to feel the pain and anger this person caused you by leaving the way they did. It forced me to realize that I need someone with a lot less fear, and a lot more courage. My life is much better off without that kind of person in it. You are too.

I thank God every day for the Gifts I do have
I try not to bitch about what I lost, or what I cannot have
I fail and I hurt and I cry. Sue me im Human
God forgives. I do to. SO should you

Somewhere, someone, who could be wonderful for you in your life, is feeling the same way and wants the same things you do. If you allow your heart to forgive, and your lucky, you just may find it.