I have been seeing a MM now for 8 months and during this time we split up a couple times for a few days and always got back together. For three weeks he actually left the house and then returned again to be with his wife. In late June this year, my MM decided it was over (actually I had to do it for him because he did not have the balls to say it) and said it was too hard to leave his wife and much too difficult to stay away from his kids (three including a baby), plus financial concerns, worried about his wife moving away with the kids...etc. It was so hard for me and he did not talk to me for a couple weeks and slowly during the month of July (middle) we started seeing each other again and talking. Slept together again a few times and then I found out he made plans at the end of July to take vacation to be with his wife and kids. Even though we have been broke up officially during this time (7 weeks), it hurt me to hear this badly. He is now back from vacation and living in his home with his wife and and sharing a bed. During the time on vacation with his wife he still texted me, wrote me mails and tells me how much he loves and misses me and needs to see me. He still does today... He says he plans to move out now. I am not sure. I don't feel he is giving me a strong impression he really wants to be with me properly. He says he does and says how much he loves me and loves me like no other, but I don't feel it and am scared. I don't feel important enough for him even though he tells me I am his life, his angel, his friend and lover. He loves me so much. He does such romantic things for me like leaving notes and clandestine picnics....I love him so much and am so attracted to him.....and he is to me as well.
He said he loves me and plans on leaving his wife again and move out of the house very soon. However, he said this to me before and now he is back in with his wife, in the same bed, but at the same time, tells me his marriage is over. ....no sex, kissing or hugging...nothing....So MANY contradictions....He loves his kids so much and can not be away from them even though he is not in love with his wife and they argue a lot. He does not want to stay together for the sake of the kids but is doing NOTHING about it!!! His wife knew about the affair before we ended the relationship and it was so hard. But before his vacation, he told his wife the affair is over and does not see me anymore. Now it is worse because his wife thinks it is over and we can't see each other as often anymore or she will become suspicious. He tells me he has had no physical contact with his wife at all during his vacation and things are really tense between them. He keeps telling me all the time how much he loves me and needs me and can't let me go. I know he loves me soooo much, and I love him too.......he can't see his life without me.
I don't know what he is going to do and if he will actually do what he says and leave his wife. He said he will rent an appartment and move out. But he has said nothing about divorce....I have been dying inside and don't know what to do. He has changed his mind before about leaving and then going back to be with his wife and kids. He told me he is weak and can not follow through on what he says. I am so lost and down and hurt.
....HELP ME....What should I do in this case? Will he come back to me or decide to stay with his wife? He changed his mind now three times....I am so lost.....
I have been seeing a MM now for 8 months and during this time we split up a couple times for a few days and always got back together. For three weeks he actually left the house and then returned again to be with his wife. In late June this year, my MM decided it was over (actually I had to do it for him because he did not have the balls to say it) and said it was too hard to leave his wife and much too difficult to stay away from his kids (three including a baby), plus financial concerns, worried about his wife moving away with the kids...etc. It was so hard for me and he did not talk to me for a couple weeks and slowly during the month of July (middle) we started seeing each other again and talking. Slept together again a few times and then I found out he made plans at the end of July to take vacation to be with his wife and kids. Even though we have been broke up officially during this time (7 weeks), it hurt me to hear this badly. He is now back from vacation and living in his home with his wife and and sharing a bed. During the time on vacation with his wife he still texted me, wrote me mails and tells me how much he loves and misses me and needs to see me. He still does today... He says he plans to move out now. I am not sure. I don't feel he is giving me a strong impression he really wants to be with me properly. He says he does and says how much he loves me and loves me like no other, but I don't feel it and am scared. I don't feel important enough for him even though he tells me I am his life, his angel, his friend and lover. He loves me so much. He does such romantic things for me like leaving notes and clandestine picnics....I love him so much and am so attracted to him.....and he is to me as well.
He said he loves me and plans on leaving his wife again and move out of the house very soon. However, he said this to me before and now he is back in with his wife, in the same bed, but at the same time, tells me his marriage is over. ....no sex, kissing or hugging...nothing....So MANY contradictions....He loves his kids so much and can not be away from them even though he is not in love with his wife and they argue a lot. He does not want to stay together for the sake of the kids but is doing NOTHING about it!!! His wife knew about the affair before we ended the relationship and it was so hard. But before his vacation, he told his wife the affair is over and does not see me anymore. Now it is worse because his wife thinks it is over and we can't see each other as often anymore or she will become suspicious. He tells me he has had no physical contact with his wife at all during his vacation and things are really tense between them. He keeps telling me all the time how much he loves me and needs me and can't let me go. I know he loves me soooo much, and I love him too.......he can't see his life without me.
I don't know what he is going to do and if he will actually do what he says and leave his wife. He said he will rent an appartment and move out. But he has said nothing about divorce....I have been dying inside and don't know what to do. He has changed his mind before about leaving and then going back to be with his wife and kids. He told me he is weak and can not follow through on what he says. I am so lost and down and hurt.
....HELP ME....What should I do in this case? Will he come back to me or decide to stay with his wife? He changed his mind now three times....I am so lost.....
How long are you willing to wait to see if he decides to be with you forever? It took 2 years fo my MM to leave his wife & come live with me. We've been living together for 4+ years now. (He's not divorced yet) So it really does depend on how many chances you are willing to give him.
I would not put up with him going back & forth though. HE needs to make a decision here!!
I have been with my MM for awhile also. This monday it will be officially one month that we "broke up" for the happiest of the kids , since his wife found out. Our feelings havent changed for eachother. We talk just about if not everyday. Its been hard. He tells me he loves me and wants us to be back together - but it just cant be right now. His wife knows that he loves me and has even gone as far as saying she knows he isnt staying for her that its for the kids. A few days before SHE found out we actually had talked about us being married. Its been hard since she is always watching his every move. The problem is neither one of us wants to hurt the kids. He grew up in a fatherless upbringing and doesnt want his kids to feel like they are beeing abandoned like he did. Which as much as it hurts the kids are innocent in all of this and i dont want to hurt them also.
My question is the same thing : Will he ever leave?
Everyone has told me that if the love is true and it will work out. I hope it does.
I know coming here has helped, chatting with others in similar situtations
I have been with my MM for awhile also. This monday it will be officially one month that we "broke up" for the happiest of the kids , since his wife found out. Our feelings havent changed for eachother. We talk just about if not everyday. Its been hard. He tells me he loves me and wants us to be back together - but it just cant be right now. His wife knows that he loves me and has even gone as far as saying she knows he isnt staying for her that its for the kids. A few days before SHE found out we actually had talked about us being married. Its been hard since she is always watching his every move. The problem is neither one of us wants to hurt the kids. He grew up in a fatherless upbringing and doesnt want his kids to feel like they are beeing abandoned like he did. Which as much as it hurts the kids are innocent in all of this and i dont want to hurt them also.
My question is the same thing : Will he ever leave?
Everyone has told me that if the love is true and it will work out. I hope it does.
I know coming here has helped, chatting with others in similar situtations
I give you the same advice as the previous poster.
I guess as long as i love him like I do and believe he loves me. Am i an idiot? I dont know, I only know what my heart says about it.
I guess we are sorta in the same boat. My MM & I live together but he hasn't gotten a divorce yet. It's going on 5 years now.
I will tell you this: "WE ARE NOT IDIOTS" !!!
I guess we are sorta in the same boat. My MM & I live together but he hasn't gotten a divorce yet. It's going on 5 years now.
I will tell you this: "WE ARE NOT IDIOTS" !!!
Glad to hear that finally. I feel like it sometimes. Its crazy. I never planned on finding a true love in a MM. We werent looking for this is just happened. I guess its true things happen for one reason or another. I do hope on a happy ending. Wish i knew how to be sure of it. Wish there was some sign.
Don't let your heart rule your choices. The reality of the situation is, he keeps trying to leave his wife, but doesn't. He has responsibilities, children and even if he tells you he doesn't love his wife, he does love her...Enough that he isn't willing to change his whole life for you. That change is too much for him, even if he does love you...Hope that makes sense.
He may not want to give up his house, kids and family. Or his friends, the comfort he's used to living. Neighbours, inlaws, work friends...They built a life together, so no matter what he feels for you, it may not be enough for him to give up.
Don't you feel you deserve more? I hope someday you walk away from him and find a single man who will love only you. A man who will start HIS life with you from the get-go.
Glad to hear that finally. I feel like it sometimes. Its crazy. I never planned on finding a true love in a MM. We werent looking for this is just happened. I guess its true things happen for one reason or another. I do hope on a happy ending. Wish i knew how to be sure of it. Wish there was some sign.
The sign that I had was when he walked into my house & said "I'm staying with you F O R E V E R "
Until your MM does that.........
Well, i guess until that day comes or something worse. Here i am
Ok, but, I told him he needed to decide what he wanted. I was willing to let him go if he chose to stay with his wife. That same day, he moved in with me. He told his wife he would not be going home.
Are you able to do that? I feel you are stronger than you sound in your posts.
Ok, but, I told him he needed to decide what he wanted. I was willing to let him go if he chose to stay with his wife. That same day, he moved in with me. He told his wife he would not be going home.
Are you able to do that? I feel you are stronger than you sound in your posts.
My strength is pretty much spent at the moment. I have said alot of things to him lately that has made him start to think. The W put alot of guilt on him. And i think for a short time it worked. Then we started really talking about the situtation and now i dont know what is happening. I know since i mentioned a few things to him and i got sick he hasnet beeen sleeping, and has been getting sick. I guess im just waiting it out, see how he starts acting and get my strength back.
My strength is pretty much spent at the moment. I have said alot of things to him lately that has made him start to think. The W put alot of guilt on him. And i think for a short time it worked. Then we started really talking about the situtation and now i dont know what is happening. I know since i mentioned a few things to him and i got sick he hasnet beeen sleeping, and has been getting sick. I guess im just waiting it out, see how he starts acting and get my strength back.
Getting caught this past month has been rough.
You shouldn't be no GETTING CAUGHT. HE SHOULD BE YOURS & YOURS ONLY!
You shouldn't be no GETTING CAUGHT. HE SHOULD BE YOURS & YOURS ONLY!
I do believe that he is mine and only mine. And he has told he that. But i have to think about those kids also. As much as i want to SO SELFISH here i have to think about them also. If we are even going to make US workout they are going to be a big part of that.
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