[LittleNikki20]

my boyfriend and I have been together almost a year we were friends before for two years. we had a really close lvong relationships and things started to get rocky, we'd fall out alot. I had moved into his for two weeks and the arguements became worse, i decided to get my things after a huge row when we were out seperately with our friends, he told my friends boyfriend hed had anough hed had enough for a while. i decided to get my things and stay at my dads for a few nights. i got my things when i knew he was ou the next day. he phoned me and asked if id gone i told him yes. i went round again the next day but he was out i went in and hed already moved his friend in. His friend had come back for the long weekend but was soon to be going back to RAF. My boyfriends dad lives in thailand, him and his friends have been a few times. When we first got together hed already booked to go which i knew about he booked to go for three months, he left and i flew out there to see him, which wed arrange. i came home and waited for him to come back. He told me yesterday that he doesnt see things working out with us (which i agree with where he is coming from). I cried and cried and he didnt seem to be hurt. I got home later that night and my friend text me to tell me shed heard from his friend and they have arranged to go to thailand in three weeks. he decided this the day his friend moved in. they have been there together twice. My boyfriend didnt tell me he was thinking of going back. hes told me that he has nothign left here and he wants to get away. he doesnt even want to talk about things, its as thought he doesnt want me to change his mind. I feel like im gonna be left here misserable whilst hes there for a fe months with his friends.The nigh before we rowed he sat in the living room crying tell me he doesnt want to lose me he asked me to promise him il never leave him and that he doesnt want a life without me. I just dont understand. I feel heartbroken. I feel like hes been thinking this a while.

[Returning]

"The nigh before we rowed he sat in the living room crying tell me he doesnt want to lose me he asked me to promise him il never leave him and that he doesnt want a life without me."

This was probably motivated by guilt, he knew you would be hurting, he didn't mean it literaly just wanted to make you feel better. Hang in there LittleNikki20, things will get better with time. You can find someone who loves you for who you are, but don't go looking, it will happen when you don't expect it.

Are you going to college in September? Start thinking about you and geting your self together.

Hope you feel better soon
Returning x

[Scott Hanley]

I know this probably won't help a great deal, but hope it does all the same. It's horrible, sometimes, the way someone may feel really strong but then crumble when it comes down to it.

My girlfriend and I were always arguing/debating our differences until yesterday, when we agreed she should go back to her dads. She did and me, the macho one, have had continious tears since while she has prooved the stronger one. I suppose I will find out whether my new outlook is 'too little too late', even though I love her more than anything in the world.

Keep you chin up girl and I wish you luck.

Scott

[LittleNikki20]

thankyou for your kind posts. I have heard from him recently, and he sounds confused. He said he keeps ringing to look for reasons why we should get back together. To be honest im so hurt right now, im hurt that he thought of leaving me to go away to a place that caused so much upset before. He said you sound as though you have accepted things. I havent accepted them iv accepted that hes hurt me with the idea of going away after everything we have been through. It hurt that he planned it the weekend i left. He is now saying to me that im making the decision for him easy by feeling this way because he said he knows now that i couldnt let this drop and it would always hurt me. I feel like he needed something to make his decision sound better to him in his own head. H e said he wants to be with me but now he realises especially from that that he cant be with me anymore. I feel he has this decision to make, me or thailand. I tld him i feel im worth more than that and i should have come first to him just like he has always done to me.
I fee stronger knowing about his plans, I realise that i value myself and my feelings too much to ever be put on a weighing scale next to anything.