[californiakid]

Where to start? So I met a chick who recently moved to my city. We were attracted to one another and seemed to click from the get-go. We started to date right away which ended up being 5-6 months. I wasn't her only friend as she made friends at work and knew some people, but the majority of her life transpired through me to an extent which made me feel a bit overwhelmed at times since she was more into me in the beginning months of our relationship. I am a very independent person and was into her, but not nearly as much as she was which I think became an issue for her, although she didn't express it clearly enough to me until later on. Nonetheless, I really had a great time spending time with her and immersed her in my life and introduced her to the majority of my friends and family where she made a good impression and it made me feel good about everything. My doctor's office is in the building in which she lived which made the circumstances of the relationship a bit trickier and she was also out-of-town a decent amount with work.

Nonetheless, I cared for her and really liked her, but maybe left her not knowing that as much as I should or at least until it was too late. About 4 months into our relationship, we were both taking our situation somewhat for granted and didn't communicate as well as we could have during that time. Everything seemed to be going well until she randomly ran into her ex of 7+ years with whom she thought she was going to marry. Our next talk, she decided that I might not be "the one." So we basically took a week apart and took sometime to think about the situation. The ball remained in her court and I have her the space that she had asked for. I had a good feeling about it all, although nothing is certain as we all know way to well. After a week apart, we get back together for another month and for the most part everything seems like its back to normal, but I put more pressure on myself to make sure that she knew that I really cared for her. However, then out of the blue she decided that we should break-up telling me very briefly that it was for the same reasons as before. You should also know that she tends to make quick decisions and realizes that is a fault of hers. Anyways, now we haven't really spoken much since our splitsville, so we never really had a discussion about this all. Right afterwards I wrote an e-mail saying that it would be nice to have a conversation with regards to "us" to have some closure and understand everything.

She ended up calling me the night I was at a concert (not sure if that was on purpose or not), but she did state that she thought we should talk about our situation. I waited a few days to collect my thoughts (while I went out w/ a couple of other women) and then decided to call and left a voicemail just letting her know that I was willing to talk when she had time, although I preferred to have the conversation in person. No response and then I left one last VM another week later. Basically I went to NC for the next 3 weeks although we ran into each other, although basically avoided a conversation as we were never in direct contact. I did decide to send her a bday card and a couple of CD's on her bday (thought i was taking the high-road, although maybe I should have obstained). Nonetheless, seems like she is sorta unwilling to have a conversation now (although I haven't spoken to her in 4 weeks now) and when she did call, she wanted to do it over the phone. I still have feelings for her, however I know that she is after another boy right now, although I know she has obstained from any hooking-up to this point, post-us. I on the other hand have gone out with a few women, however, it truly hasn't been the same. I am not sure if she is the "one," however I was looking to give it more time to see if it would develop into something longer-standing. She felt that her "timeclock" was wasting and apparently questioned dating me further if it wasn't gonna lead down the "road to marraige" This has been a month post-us....what to do to at least bring this back to what we were before we dated which is friends or maybe even trying to reconile this and see if it could work out again....I know the best thing for myself is to move-on and re-establish my own life again and if its meant to be, so be it. Although, at the sametime, I know that there is no rush in time, but I don't want all these feelings and emotions to shift to the backburner to never reoccur again. I have never felt this way about a woman before and I surely don't want to live in a world of "what if's" any longer......please advise as I greatly appreciate any insight you might have...