[CinderellaElla]

Hey, iam almost 17 years old, and my parents are divorced.
I lived with my mom and i used to go back and forth between my parents, but i had a hard time a my dads so i went back to stay with my mom.

Just recnetly, i felt bad again since i took a year off by going back and forth between both houses...and so now i started to go back to my dads again.

The thing is, is that...i dont want to live with either of them..becuz my mom and dad both hurt me alot. I feel iam always crying, becuz they always say iam not good enough, and i feel like i always have to prove myself on everything i do.

My brother lives at my dads, and he's been getting me in trouble all week. If a bag of chips is missing, i get blamed..and no matter what happens, my dad takes his word over mine.

My dad also thinks iam disturbing there peace becuz when i started coming now, me and my bro argue, only becuz he's a little brat and if u dont turn the light on when he asks, or do anything, he tattles.

The thing is i dont kno what to do. So that's why iam begging you please to give me some advice that could help me out. PLease

[superconductor]

Just stop arguing.

Make a decision that no matter what your little brother says, or does, to irritate you, just don't rise to the bait.

How old is he? I'm guessing he's around 10...

[Mr. Mackey]

Secretly, Im 18. I had home strugles as well, except I wish my parents would actually get a devorce, because they have got to be the worst married couple in history.

all points aside, drifting in between houses is hard work. The balance of power is obvious in your fathers household, he takes your brothers side obviously because he's one of those "Penis loving" fathers that deems the son always better then the daughter.

I would reccomend living with your mom simply because you might have more peace and freedom there, and it's easy living without a sibling always bugging you to hell.

Besides, you only have about a year until you can move out on your own. So... just try to keep that in mind, it gave me a lot of strength twards the end.

Good luck, mmkay.

[ZICKAR]

Sorry you are having such a hard time ... But asides from all the good points other members made I have to make the point that you should settle down at one of your Parent's houses ... maybe your father takes your brother's side simply because he feels that your brother took his side in the first place by choosing to live at his place ....maybe that's the answer to your problem .... make up your mind and stop going from one parent to another and if you ever choose to be at the same house as your brother make sure you don't stay around him a lot that way he can't pick on you because if he's really around 10 like some suggested he could be really annoying

[CinderellaElla]

My brother is almost 14. And he really was making me mad today...it's like her tries everything in his power to try and make me mad or put me down. He even said to me that he doesnt want me in ''his house now'', just becuz i wouldnt turn on his light for him. And he used to wanted me to come over, but i really cant stand him. He's too much like my dad. (scary)

And as for living arrangements, both my brother and I were going back and forth at the beginning, and then he got mad at my mom becuz he wanted to be boss of the house, and well..when she said no, he decided to move to my dads permanately. He hardly ever visits at my moms. And then I kept going back and forth, but it got tough to hangout at my dads becuz i get blamed for stupid things my brother does.

And when my dad comes home from work, my brother tells him that I tried to fight him and call him names and that, and thats when i get yelled at. And no matter what I do Iam always blamed. They think my brother is perfect pretty much. Even my mom makes a big deal when she sees him becuz usually he never visits. He's a poiled rotten little brat if ya ask me, and if u saw the tihngs he gets away with you would totally agree.

I think it is a good idea tho to chose one place to stay, but how am I to do that, when Iam always getting put down by my parents in the first place?
Becuz my dad always says to me that if i live with mom iam going to be like her, and i hate when he says that, and yes i told him that, but he gets very racist when it comes to woman, which of course pisses me off!

[ZICKAR]

Originally Posted by CinderellaElla

I think it is a good idea tho to chose one place to stay, but how am I to do that, when Iam always getting put down by my parents in the first place?
Becuz my dad always says to me that if i live with mom iam going to be like her, and i hate when he says that, and yes i told him that, but he gets very racist when it comes to woman, which of course pisses me off!

the point in staying in one place is actually you will belong somewhere and don't feel like a stranger to both environments ....It seems you are staying at your mother's in almost a regular basis...It's OK for your mother to be more busy with your brother when he comes to visit because he is visiting
You are being too possesive about her and this can be understood because you don't want to loose her too like you did with your father emotionally that is but you shouldn't put much thought into the time when your brother is visiting but instead your time alone when he isn't around