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Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

Old 18th August 2006, 2:15 AM   #1
Brittanyjean06
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You know what really blows?

Well what really blows is having your ex tell their fiance they never never loved their ex ( ex would be me ).. Well I'll be damned...he sure did seem like he did..

Honestly? I guess all ex's will say that to their new one. To make things look better??

Really makes you wonder if they even loved you at all...
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Old 18th August 2006, 2:18 AM   #2
magda
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I guess so. How do you know all this? It sounds like you are still in a pretty tight friendship circle with both your ex and his new woman if you heard about this, so he better be lying about loving you to keep his new girl from getting jealous and catty every time she sees you.
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Old 18th August 2006, 2:19 AM   #3
the_alchemyst
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He's lying.

I find that people who tend to say things like that are the ones whom really aren't all that over you at all.

If he didn't care, why would he bother discrediting you, you know?
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Old 18th August 2006, 2:22 AM   #4
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I don't know Brittany... I see what you're saying. It hurts to think that someone you loved so much, and who you thought loved you just the same, never truly did.

However...

I can HONESTLY say it wasn't REAL love I had for my first and second boyfriends. I've realized this, because for my most recent S.O. (now ex), I learned what REAL love was - and it made the other two look like nothing. Don't get me wrong, I still learned and grew from the other relationships, but I used to think I was in love with them, until I REALLY felt it with this one.

I don't know, I know I "loved" them, but I don't think it was anything mature, or intimate, passionate, or "real" like this one was. Maybe it's wrong of me to say I wasn't in love with them, because at the time, I did feel like that.

Who knows - it's just what I've come to feel over time and experience with new men, personally.




HOWEVER... my S.O. (now ex) had only one relationship with a someone before me. He told me NOTHING compaired to how he felt with me, and that he DEFINITELY did NOT love her; he realized that after they broke up. BUT - she had IMed me once, telling me that everything he wrote on his internet blog about me and his love for me, he had written in an OLD internet blog about her.

Who knows - maybe people just say that because it's a new relationship; something fresh, something undiscovered, something magical.

Blah - I'm in one of those moods. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. /end_rambling
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Old 18th August 2006, 2:43 AM   #5
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aww thanks for responding, didn't think people would be up this late!

Well no I have not talked to my ex in a year but 3 weeks ago I happen to go to her myspace and she wrote a blog on me saying this stuff that he never had nearly as much feelings for me as he did for her, hes also a chronic liar....any way I haven't been to the myspace since and won't for 2 years maybe by than I can handel things or maybe by than they will be divorced...stupid 19 year olds.

I know it wasn't realy love, but it was my first love..so sorry If I vent or rant I still am angry over things, and I guess my ego was bruised..not really looking for and pity partys from people because I have done that alot and realized I have to woman up about this.

leopard print- thats funny that your ex did that...I guess alot of guys not all of them can be really good at telling the new girl a bunch of lies...If an ex can tell their new girl they never loved them...than that is wack haha honestly should have told her all the lines in the book he said to me that he is probaly saying to her..

Oh well ex's are ex's for a reason.
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Old 18th August 2006, 2:48 AM   #6
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Ugh... myspaces, internet blogs, txting... coping was much easier when all of this internet junk didn't exist. Now everyone has their lives posted all over the internet, and it's easy for us to get sucked into an ex's life without even having to talk to them, thus, bringing us back to phase one of coping. And it's so easy to break NC with txting and IMing... all you need to do is a quick "send", and NC is gone.

I envy how you can just stop looking at her myspace cold turkey. I'm CONSTANTLY looking at his myspace, his friend's myspace to see what he says to them, I'm constantly logging into his email, watching his moves on his daily forums... I need to seriously stop. It's SO unhealthy and it eats away at me.
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Old 18th August 2006, 4:09 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittanyjean06 View Post
Well what really blows is having your ex tell their fiance they never never loved their ex ( ex would be me ).. Well I'll be damned...he sure did seem like he did..

Honestly? I guess all ex's will say that to their new one. To make things look better??

Really makes you wonder if they even loved you at all...

I wouldn't pay that any mind. I told my recent ex that I have never been inlove before and he was my first 'true love'. I told that to a previous ex too.... LOL. Its all lies, you just want to make the person you are with feel extra special.
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Old 18th August 2006, 4:21 AM   #8
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haha I guess those are small lies that really don't matter. Well I didn't want to see what else she had to say and honestly all I ever did was look at her myspace and than she had to update that damn thang haha with new pictures a blog about me and I was like okay this has to stop...Im sure in a year or maybe even in 6 months I will go to it out of curiosity!
haha your right about the blogging the texting but honestly I think she is fabricating alot of stuff and people over rate their lives and make it look out to be this wonderful blissful life, but instead people have told me different months ago..but Im not gonna pay any attention to it...it makes me feel lousy
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Old 18th August 2006, 4:27 AM   #9
leopardprint
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Originally Posted by Brittanyjean06 View Post
haha your right about the blogging the texting but honestly I think she is fabricating alot of stuff and people over rate their lives and make it look out to be this wonderful blissful life...
You're exactly right about that. I keep up on my myspace that I'm still living in NYC, still going to school for my major, and still in a relationship, with lots of happy pictures of me and my now ex. I mean, he hasn't changed any of his stuff either, but my point is... I'm too embarrassed about all the changes that have gone through my life (I've moved from NYC, I'm dropping out of college for a bit to work and make money, I might even switch majors because I did horribly in my last one for three whole years , and the love of my life, who I told EVERYONE I was going to move in with, is no longer mine). I want everyone to think I have this wonderful life still. I know that's so shallow and completely unnecessary - it shouldn't matter at all what other people think of my life - however, myspace is a crazy thing; everyone seems to have a good life on there and I don't want to fall off that train.
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Old 18th August 2006, 4:33 AM   #10
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Well truthfully we all want it to look like that, we all want it to look like we have true friends, we live perfect lives but the truth of the matter is we don't and I have no problem blogging about my troubles...

Your in a transitioning phase in your life, you shoulden't feel embarassed at all thought I can completely understand why you would, If I would run in to my ex's friends I get all nervous and tense and want everything to look like I am a happy person, but I still am like that, afraid of running in to him. And I care alot about what other people think from my past, because I don't want the truth to get out that I am not over him..but honestly but will this matter years from now? Everyone has their own problems to worry about that their not going to be fixated on mine or yours or any one elses...so even if you aren't doing too well don't be afraid for people to see it, they all have their own problems and were all screwed in this life any way haha jk
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Old 18th August 2006, 4:49 AM   #11
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BJ you just have to stop looking!! You're torturing yourself. Yeah sure, she's behaving immaturely and writing pathetic crap to wind you up... but you know what? It's working!! She's getting exactly what she clearly wants, which is to p*ss you off!

The most mature and clever thing you could do is just to stop fricking looking at it and winding yourself up. Any besides, if your ex is seeing this crap and happy for her to try winding you up, then what kind of man is he? You don't want that.

It's been all together too long that you've been down about this. And in part it's your own fault for keeping looking at what you know is going to hurt you. When you have a bruise that hurts, do you keep poking it to see if it still hurts?!

Last Christmas my SO's ex kept texting him saying she was watching the video of the previous Christmas, how happy they were and all that crap. Yeah we felt sorry for her.. BUT she took the choice to put the video in and torture herself... not us.
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Old 18th August 2006, 2:48 PM   #12
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Well about a month ago I was curious and saw that she had updated a whole new page! and she did blog about me...I blogged about her back but than decided you know what this has no purpose for me and deleted it and I told her matturely, I will not go to your myspace to see what else you have to say...because I'm sure it says mean things...and I don't need that... And honestly I don't. And guess what, I haven't been to her site in a month and I am 100% possitive I won't go back there until I am fully over it , I meen I will still be curious to know how their marriage turned out...But believe me I have done my best so far I guess this is just a process and I'm getting better after I get a little bit worse...if that makes sense!
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