Are guys more influenced by the "present situation" than women? For instance, I hear a lot of people say that men tend to marry the woman they happen to be with when the finally feel like settling down. Or, alternatively, men may be dating a really good person for them, but if they're just not ready to "settle down" they'll just let her go.
Do you think there is any truth to that? That men are more guided by their current situation than by the person they're with at any give time?
Is this assuming all females are chomping at the bit to get down the aisle?
Not necessarily - the "settling down" scenario is given more as an example of what I'm getting at. I basically want to know what drives men to act in any given way during the relationship - is it the person they're with, or the outside factors that may be impacting their lives?
I think most women are driven by the person they're with. And I kindda think that men are the same way, but I meet so many people - mostly women - that tell me that men are driven more by their outside "circumstances." I'm not sure that I believe them, hence my question.
Not necessarily - the "settling down" scenario is given more as an example of what I'm getting at. I basically want to know what drives men to act in any given way during the relationship - is it the person they're with, or the outside factors that may be impacting their lives?
I think most women are driven by the person they're with. And I kindda think that men are the same way, but I meet so many people - mostly women - that tell me that men are driven more by their outside "circumstances." I'm not sure that I believe them, hence my question.
Well, if you settle down for all the wrong reasons, the relationship's not going to get very far, is it?
When I'm going to settle down with someone, I'm going to have to like her, and she's going to have to like me...and the only way to test that would be to develop a relationship over time (through good times and bad).
Y'know- this topic might make more sense if the males responding indicate their past LTRs and why they didn't want those particular relationships to turn into marriage.
Y'know- this topic might make more sense if the males responding indicate their past LTRs and why they didn't want those particular relationships to turn into marriage.
Oh, yeah, that works best - so men, why didn't your past relationships turn into marriage - was in your "circumstances" or was it something about the girl?
Superconductor - out of curiosity, what were those "freedoms" that singlehood offered?
Oh, wow, I don't even know where to start. How about:
Come and go as you please;
Eat what you want, when you want it;
Nobody else using the bathroom;
If the kitchen's a mess, it's your own damn fault;
Complete control of the remote;
No one else responsible for paying the bills, so they actually get paid on time;
Closet space;
Only 1 bar of soap and 1 bottle of shampoo in the shower;
No mind-games or arguments about something I may have said in passing over a year ago;
If I have to work late, I don't have to check-in;
No one snooping through my stuff;
I don't have to watch insipid romantic comedies;
No dealing with impossibly irritable women 1 week out of ever 4;
I can bring home a woman, have wonderful and luscious sex with her without any betrayal and the associated guilt;
No pantyhose or cotton undies damply hanging from the shower curtain rod;
I can - and do - invite my friends over from time to time, bbq a steak, have a few beers and generally enjoy myself without having to wonder if I'm going to pay for it later because she'll think I didn't pay enough attention to her...
well super, you probably right and wrong! You could have held out for a girl who wouldn't care about bbqs, sharing soap, watching those awful romantic comedies, etc. And trust me, some of us would be making potatoe salad and cookies for your bbq, and not whining about attention.
Geez- where do you guys find these scary girls?!!!
Are guys more influenced by the "present situation" than women? For instance, I hear a lot of people say that men tend to marry the woman they happen to be with when the finally feel like settling down. Or, alternatively, men may be dating a really good person for them, but if they're just not ready to "settle down" they'll just let her go.
Do you think there is any truth to that? That men are more guided by their current situation than by the person they're with at any give time?
No. I think there are a few categories of men and you might be dating any one of them:
1. He will marry the woman who will be a good wife and mother or just a woman he's been dating for a long time.
2. He will marry the woman he is dating in his time-to-settle-down phase of life, because he has a primitive, simple mind that believes that with a little bit of respect and faith, you can have a good marriage with any woman.
3. He will marry the woman he is in love with. This category is most prevalent, in my observation.
4. He will be picky his whole life and never marry anyone or will finally settle for less.
5. He will look for the ideal woman his whole life and have many serious relationships (or marriages) until he finds the right one... or he will end up alone.
No. I think there are a few categories of men and you might be dating any one of them:
1. He will marry the woman who will be a good wife and mother or just a woman he's been dating for a long time.
2. He will marry the woman he is dating in his time-to-settle-down phase of life, because he has a primitive, simple mind that believes that with a little bit of respect and faith, you can have a good marriage with any woman.
3. He will marry the woman he is in love with. This category is most prevalent, in my observation.
4. He will be picky his whole life and never marry anyone or will finally settle for less.
5. He will look for the ideal woman his whole life and have many serious relationships (or marriages) until he finds the right one... or he will end up alone.
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