Well Im posting today because the cold hard truth has hit like a ton of bricks over the last week. I have stuck to no contact (have to be honest I wanted her to call so bad) but she hasnt called. I think I needed to know that it was really really over. I think I know that now. I do still hold on to the hope that she will call and want to say hi or just check how I am doing.
I was doing really really well seeing other people going out every second night just being me but for the last week I have gone backwards badly I miss her all the little things all the small jokes remarks and things we did.
I need to step up to the plate I did do things wrong and that may be part of the reason we not together. Happiness seems just out of my grasp at the moment. Im not giving up all hope I think that she may call me and may wanna see me. For now she hasnt.
Im at the cross road and have no clue where to go. Im up all night thinking what the next step is. Its unhealthy to do this I know but im doing it.
I need advise here is this just a relaps a phase? Is it me falling apart or possibly still trying to pick up the pices? I miss her, i dont know if I still love her but I miss her madly.
So where is it from here. Do I pack up and run or stay and fight? Do i give up and throw some of the best parts of my life away? I live in S.A been offered a job in the U.K. Do I just leave past emotions behind and leave for possibly a better life? possibly a worse one? The cross road and I dont know where to go. The truth of the matter is she is no longer part of my life or me part of hers the truth is Im lost drowning and cant find the light.
Thanks all
__________________
Ryde to Die
Ruff Ryders
Last edited by Ruff Ryder; 11th August 2006 at 4:50 PM.
Is it worth fighting for? Thats tought to do where do you start? Where do you give up. How long do you try?
I wanna fight for her and I think that I could win but the odds say I cant and wont win. Do I put myself at the risk again to fight and possibly be hurt?
Sorry about the post I'm in a place where I dont know what to do.
Place yourself on the other side -as an outsider, looking in. From your perspective (as a third party): what would you advise Ruff Ryder to do?
It is time to move on. Bigger and better things will come along into your life. If you ache so much, then moving to the UK might get your mind (and heart) off her.
I feel for you RuffRyder as I am also going through the pain of trying to tell myself it's over, let the dead dog lie. And it's hard because you fill yourself with all these 'what if's' & 'maybes'. And if we don't stop ourselves then we will never move on. I hope you & I both find the strength we need to do what we know we need to do.
You like the English accent what! What! Cheerio good chum fight for the girl or we could have a bloody mess on our hands, now when is it time for our tea and crackers?
Well we got of to a great start in the relationship. 6 months in she cheatered on me and I was able to look past it. But up untill that point I was strong and independent. Then for some reason I became very weak almost like I was looking for her approval in everything.
It felt like we had fallen apart. So a year in I let go and then she held on and we worked everything out. We never had much cash but 2 years in I got my degree and found a good job.
It was happy days for a while then I took a new job far more money but harsh hours and I was spending no time at home or with her. So she found someone else. I cant blame her for that it was mainly my fault.
I now have the a fantastic job work for 15 days a month (still in the same company) make good money and have loads of free time for sport and all that. i just dont have someone speciall to share it with.
Well thats the readers digest version. Thanks all you have all been a great and wonderfull support and help. Love ya Ruff
I have made up my mind, its a stay and fight... Now the trick comes in, how do I do this? Where do I start. Romance and all that? Come on ladies help a fella out here what do I do?
And yes the answer to the question is she is worth it and so much more.
I broke contact today, was a nice pleasent chat we had over the web, went well I think. Didnt make any plans to see her again just a casual chat and it was good.
Sorry but I have a bad feeling about this. She first cheats on you and then you make excuses and say it's your fault she left. You were WORKING! She should have stood by you.
Why do you want someone back who cheated on you? And after only six months (not that it's EVER acceptable). But that's still supposed to be the big honeymoon phase.
Stay and fight but I can almost GUARANTEE she will end up breaking your heart again.
I'd move on and save yourself more heartbreak. She doesn't love you. Can you imagine yourself ever cheating on her?
There's your answer.
__________________ We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”
~ Walter Anderson
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