[vlhs004]

so me and my ex broke up around 4 months ago and it it wasnt a typical breakup. . .. she said she still wanted to marry me and that she knew we would end up together that she just need to fin out what she wants and if im the one. So she goes over to this guys house the next night with some friends . . . they have known each other maybe a month and were just acquaintances. they start hanging out and he puts a sexual move on her a week later and stuff happens.. . . .i try to get back together with her for about a month and she said shes not ready . . .so we talk for about 2 months and we both decide to not talk for a while . . .so we havent talked for almost 2 months . . .she has texted, emailed and left me voice mails about 5 or 6 times and i have not retuned any . . . she just says she wants to know how im doing and how my summers going and stuff. . . .so her and this guys have been dating for about 4 months now and she has told him b4 that she misses me and misses talking to me. . the bad part is that i know they guy she is dating and she knew i hated him b4 we broke up. . . we went to the same hs and we live in a small town so i have to hear about it all the time (which makes it worse). . .well i guess i need some advice about what the women think . . ...why does she keep trying to contact me . ..am i a bad person for not wanting to talk to her? . .. do u think its a rebound guy if she jumps back into something that fast.. . .she has admitted to me b4 that she hates to be alone and she did not deny that she only got with him because he was there.. .as you can probobly tell im not over her but i have decided not to go for a rebound and let my heart heal naturally because i heard it usually works out better if you do it the hard way. back when i was still talking to her she also always tried to avoid talking about it or showing any emotion. . . and she has called me crying saying she needs someone to talk to while she has been with him . .. i know they are still together so i will not talk to her why she is with him because of that fact that i have no respect for him . . . . making a move on a girl that is a week out of a 2 year relationship and a 3 year friendship is just sick to me . . . what does everything think? what do the women think is going on in her head and what do you think i should do?

[P1xie]

It sounds like she's keeping you on the line in case things don't work out with this other guy.

[Violet87]

why does she keep trying to contact me

While she may honestly want to know how you're doing, I think it's more so her wanting to keep stringing you along and use you as back up incase the other guy she's with doesn't work out.

am i a bad person for not wanting to talk to her?

Not at all. Infact, I think No contact is the best way to go in this situation. Don't let her take advantage of you.

do u think its a rebound guy if she jumps back into something that fast.

Possibly. But it sounds more like she wants to test the waters and see what else is out there. Personally, I don't think she's so sure you're the one for her and if she really wants to be with you. If she was sure, she wouldn't be out there dating other guys, having sex, and wanting to break things off with you.

I think she's using you as the "comfort zone" just in case the grass isn't greener on the other side. If she truly wants to be with you, she's going to have to come to that conclusion herself. Don't wait around for her and be too availiable to her. Let her know what life is like without you. Get out and date others as well.

[Spitkicker]

okay... this may not seem evident to you now.. because you still believe in your heart that there is somewhat of a chance, but when you let go of that you'll see things a lot more clearly.

1. the other guy is a fake friend.. and just wanted to get with your girl. Also, think about this.. if by some miracle.. yall get back together... do you really think she'll drop him? NOPE.... You won't be able to trust her and the relationship will get worse. In which he's gonna think to herself.."why am I in this crappy relationship?" then she'll go back to the other guy behind your back and you'll get hurt worse.

2. She is keeping you on a leash.. because she had feelings for you, so she THINKS that she's doing you a favor by keeping in touch. She's also trying to cover all her bases in case **** don't work out with him.

I hope that you heed my advice.. or at least keep it in mind.. because it'll be hard as hell to get this through your head. I think everyone has to go through this once to realize the signs and how abundant they are in a lot of peoples break ups.

best advice is too go n/c for a long ass time.. surround yourself with REAL friends who are not afraid to cut ties with your ex. That's my biggest mistake.. is letting a few of my good friends become good friends with my ex while we were together. Now they are caught in the middle. Thank GOD though that they are real friends who have told me time and time again that when push comes to shove.. they'll drop my ex and take my side.

Good luck to you!