[vlhs004]

so me and my ex broke up around 4 months ago and it it wasnt a typical breakup. . .. she said she still wanted to marry me and that she knew we would end up together that she just need to fin out what she wants and if im the one. So she goes over to this guys house the next night with some friends . . . they have known each other maybe a month and were just acquaintances. they start hanging out and he puts a sexual move on her a week later and stuff happens.. . . .i try to get back together with her for about a month and she said shes not ready . . .so we talk for about 2 months and we both decide to not talk for a while . . .so we havent talked for almost 2 months . . .she has texted, emailed and left me voice mails about 5 or 6 times and i have not retuned any . . . she just says she wants to know how im doing and how my summers going and stuff. . . .so her and this guys have been dating for about 4 months now and she has told him b4 that she misses me and misses talking to me. . the bad part is that i know they guy she is dating and she knew i hated him b4 we broke up. . . we went to the same hs and we live in a small town so i have to hear about it all the time (which makes it worse). . .well i guess i need some advice about what the women think . . ...why does she keep trying to contact me . ..am i a bad person for not wanting to talk to her? . .. do u think its a rebound guy if she jumps back into something that fast.. . .she has admitted to me b4 that she hates to be alone and she did not deny that she only got with him because he was there.. .as you can probobly tell im not over her but i have decided not to go for a rebound and let my heart heal naturally because i heard it usually works out better if you do it the hard way. back when i was still talking to her she also always tried to avoid talking about it or showing any emotion. . . and she has called me crying saying she needs someone to talk to while she has been with him . .. i know they are still together so i will not talk to her why she is with him because of that fact that i have no respect for him . . . . making a move on a girl that is a week out of a 2 year relationship and a 3 year friendship is just sick to me . . . what does everything think? what do the women think is going on in her head and what do you think i should do?

[jgaz3124]

You are doing the right thing by not talking to her. she sounds selfish and hey to be honest if she loved you at all she would consider your feelings. You know I have to tell you that it is driving her nuts that you are ignoring her. But keep doing it. I mean people do make mistakes but if you start talking to her and eventually take her back she is just going to know that she can keep doing this to you. I say keep moving on and don't settle for less than you deserve and someday you will find a woman who loves you and respects you.

[norajane]

Originally Posted by vlhs004

she said she still wanted to marry me and that she knew we would end up together that she just need to fin out what she wants and if im the one.

This is a huge contradiction. If she knew you would end up together, then why would she need to find out what she wants and if you're the one?

What she meant was, she wanted to see if there was something better out there...she wanted to see other guys, while holding on to you as her backup.

You're doing the right thing. Do not respond to her anymore. She dumped you and you really don't want to be waiting around while she does whatever (and whomever) she wants.

Let yourself heal and then find someone who wants to be only with you, who can't imagine running around to check out the rest of the fish in the sea.