[EndoftheRope]

It was suggested here that some of my husband's behavior is typical of being an adult child of an alcoholic. When I found a list of common characteristics, all sorts of things about not only him, but the way his whole family behaves, clicked into place.

The lies are a big one. Pretending everything is normal when it isn't, and pressuring others into playing along seems to be 'normal' for people with this upbringing, too.

I personally see lying as a choice, a behavior, not something that a disease forces you to do. However, thinking of it as an illness makes it easier for me to grasp how an otherwise decent, loving, caring man can try so hard to save his marriage, be showering me with gifts, be thoughtful, caring, and loving, and give me almost anything but the truth. I think thinking of it this way will be the only way I can tolerate staying in this marriage for the kids' sake.

I feel much better after my first meeting.