[be_free]

Ive never been one of those kids who runs around with boys, drinks in parks or goes out for whole nights and comes home high/drunk. Instead ive stayed at home and been the good kid that SHE always gets complimented about. Despite this she still seems to think that the unecessary ANGERY is needed to make us into better people. i use US loosely, as the mood swings are all directed towards my sister and i. I also have a brother but he gets away with murder. Fair enough he's 20 now, he should be allowed all the freedom in the world, yet its the little things like she'll come home to a messy house and it will be MY fault, no one elses.
My sister has the same problem, she doesnt live with us but when she comes home all happy, she get **** from my mother for no reason. It makes me so sad to see her put down so much. she left home at 16 because of my mother and lived in a hostel by herself. My mother blanks her when she comes home, then bitches about her when she leaves. shes always in the wrong. it makes me so mad.
I hardly ever do anything with my friends as im too afraid of getting shouted down if i ask to go out. The few times ive gone out i apparently 'go out too much'. I just came home from seeing an old friend for the day and i 'go out too much!'. then when i answer back and defend myself its 'you always talk to me rudely, you never help in the house!' . WE DONT TALK AANYWAY! she's always wanting to talk to my brother, asking him questions about his life, she knows everything and theyre always joking around. Then if i try and talk she gets mad at me, she doesnt look at me, im totolly ignored. Its gotten to the point where im used to it now, it doesnt bother me. its just the fact that shes holding me back from what i wanna be and want to do with my life. theres so many things that happen and my friends go to, they talk about it, and i have no relevance in the conversation. i feel so outcasted, and its not my place to hold my friends back from having a life.
she ignores me when im at home, yet she wont let me go out and have a life.
I really cant stand that woman and what she does to me. My dad also notices this same thing, yet he cant say anything as he's walking on egg shells too. it makes me sick to see this grown man acting this way, all because of this manipulative woman. how can she have so much control.
i respect what she's done, but for her to bring me to tears near enough everyday, and cuss me out first thing in the morning. i cant stand it.
i want to leave so bad, but i have one year left of this.


sorry this is long, and im new to this, but i just needed somwhere to vent.


x

Check out a website called BPD Central - you may find some kindred spirits & some helpful ways of dealing with your Mum's behaviour. I'm not saying that she has Borderline Personality Disorder but enough of the traits are there (splitting, control, manipulation ) for it to be interesting and helpful for you. Good luck - I remember full well being a teen and living at home with that crap. It's not easy at all and sometimes feels like it will go on forever. It won't, but you will have to, at some point, make a decision about how you're going to deal with it. We can't change anyones behaviour, but we do have the power to change OUR reactions & thoughts and thereby effect the behaviour of others. I'm not saying that you are doing anything wrong and you should stop going out at all, tidy the house, be sweet & kind ALL the time - that's nuts & you sound like a good kid anyway. The problem is your mum & the way she acts - your REaction may have an effect on her - that'sa all. It's hard work though & my heart goes out to you!

[BeFree]

Can you change your account name??? I'm BeFree and people will get us confused.

[CrushedOrgans]

Originally Posted by BeFree

Can you change your account name??? I'm BeFree and people will get us confused.

your names look different (and you have wayyyyy more posts.) i think you'll be okay. i've noticed that i've started to recognize people by picture anyway, and you can always put something in your signature that makes it known you are BeFree and not be free.