[Drewau2005]

Hi

I wonder if I can get some advice from you guys ?
My wife and I have been seperated around 12 months. We have interacted over that time and lately it has been pretty good. We went out for dinner on Monday and laughed a bit etc. I siad at the end have "we moved this on" and she said "maybe" and "is it too late". I said that I didn't think it was and to think about it. We kissed and said goodbye. I really love her, we sepearted beacuse she our communication wasn't great for a period. I really want to advance it but we are in this "dance" where she will not make the decision and I don't want to push her as I know how that will work against me.
We have tried counselling, 2 actually. The first counsellor we didn't warm too and by the time we got to the second one we were ready to seperate.
Plaese help - my heart is breaking.
Drew

[mess4u]

What is wrong with the datingThing ? You love her so much, Take it slow for a while. Dating is when people really get to talk and get to know eachother. This will give her a chance to warm back up .

You didnt go much into detail on what split you up in the first place, Try to work on the issues that pushed you apart. If the marriage counceling didnt work for you ,Try other methods that do.

Work on the communication problem while you date.

Talk about what you guys really need from eachother, What can we do for eachother that makes this work.

I love when my husband ask me what he can do for me. (this dont happen as often as it did the first year we were married, but we somtimes successfuly throw a couple things in.

Most marriages have some kind of problem that needs work

I hope you guys work it out together.

[quankanne]

keep searching for a counsellor who you feel comfortable with and start seeing that person. Alone and as a couple. Sounds like the love is still there, but you need the tools to communicate more effectively, and good counselling/therapy will provide that.

I've seen MarriageBuilders on this site a lot – some of the posters swear by it, and I know there's a website for checking it out. My husband and I did a Marriage Encounter weekend (also has a website) and that retreat put a lot of stuff in perspective for both of us, I don't know if we'd be doing as well as we are had we not gone.

good luck, and keep us posted – I'd love to hear that you two have found a positive way to move forward in your marriage.