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In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

Old 19th July 2006, 10:58 AM   #1
bg1975
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Early Stages Questions

Hello All:

I have been on the forums for a bit. You all give some great advice[SIZE=2]

Thought I would throw this out to you all and see what you think.
Monday night I went out for a couple of drink with a gal that I met online (I know, I know). Anyway, turned out she was very cute, we had tons in common (even went to the same high school; different years). Anyway, hugged twice after our 2 hour date and I asked her to dinner later in the week. I told her I had some friends coming into town this weekend before….and she caught on to that one and asked about them. I said I will see what the schedule is and if we can't do dinner, then maybe my buds and her friends could go out together. She seemed to like that idea as well.
So, yesterday, I called her while she was at work to leave a voice mail thanking her for a nice evening and to call me when she has the opportunity (my week is crazy). She actually picked up and said basically What up? I told her I was planning to leave a voice mail and to thank her. She said she had a nice time, we said about four more things and then she had to get back to work.
Thinking that went well, I called back to ask her out for dinner that night. She mentioned she was going to a ballgame that night during our date which I forgot about. She said she wasn't sure if they were still going to the game when I called her back but "tonight is not a good night", I said no problem and said goodbye since she was still at work.
So, question is….I want to invite her to dinner on Thursday (today is Wed AM)…..do I call tonight? Email her which she will get tonight? Or wait and try to get together with her this weekend which might be difficult for me this weekend and then I am out of town the following weekend?
What do you all think?
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Old 19th July 2006, 11:00 AM   #2
blind_otter
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If you want to go to dinner with her thursday, call her and ask.
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Old 19th July 2006, 12:04 PM   #3
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You could put it back onto her... email her and say 'Hey didn't want to call in case I disturbed you at work. Are you still interested in dinner tomorrow night? If so give me a call and I'll arrange the restaurant etc. Many thanks.... etc'

That way... you don't seem like you're calling every 2 seconds and she can turn you down or suggest another time if she is unavailable then or say yes that would be perfect with her.

If I got an email like that and I liked the guy, I'd call him.

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Old 19th July 2006, 1:05 PM   #4
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Thanks for the responses. I just don't want to seem too pushy. That is usually my problem. I come off too ready to jump into a relationship and too pressuring. I hate games! I have the belief if you want to talk to some one, you just call. If you want to go out......you ask them out. Just thought that if I called her again or emailed her today, that would seem pushy and putting too much pressure.
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Old 19th July 2006, 1:11 PM   #5
bg1975
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Too much pressure?

Thanks for the responses. [SIZE=2]
My problem has always been that I seem to put too much pressure on her in the early stages. I hate games. If I want to talk with you, I will call you. If I want to go out with you, I will ask you out. Not playing the wait two days after first date to call type stuff.
I am just afraid that by asking her out today (for tomorrow), I might be doing that as well. What do you all think? If I do, will send an email kind of apologizing for catching her at work yesterday if that makes sense and asking her to dinner.
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Old 19th July 2006, 3:23 PM   #6
BrokenSpirit
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No it sounds like she is into you as well... And I have the same belief as you, if you like the person Whats with the BS games?!
I dont think you are comin off pushy at all and if someone emailed me that then I would DEF call him... I would keep it light... Even if you call just keep it light was callin just to see if your interested in dinner tomorrow? This way your not comin off pushy and it definately doesnt sound like you are... Good luck =))
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Old 19th July 2006, 6:23 PM   #7
bg1975
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Draft email

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Below is a draft. Again, it has been a while since I have been out of a relationship and unsure of myself here. Would appreciate your feedback. Would this work?

[SIZE=2]I hope you are doing well. Just wanted to say thank you again for such a wonderful time the other night. Sorry for catching you yesterday at the office. Again, figured I would get your voicemail.
I was wondering if you would like to have dinner tomorrow night with me? I was able to work out my schedule with my best friend and will be available tomorrow night. I don't know if you have ever been there, but I was thinking about Café Boa on Mill Ave? Ever been there? Great food, great atmosphere! And again…..great food!
Well, give me a call when you have the chance.
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Old 19th July 2006, 6:40 PM   #8
Sand&Water
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Simple, and nicely written e-mail. Yes, I think it is worthy of attention. If you want, include in the e-mail that if she can`t make it that you would understand. Allow her to set up a day for next time, that way the ball is in her court. Or vice versa.
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