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Old 18th July 2006, 11:30 PM   #1
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!!!! what are the signs of someone losing interest

I am confused. I have been dating my current boyfriend on and off since september. (This was my choice, as I felt I was not ready for a relationship after being brokenup with and still not over the ex).

So we have spent a lot of time together over these past five months. ( I finally decided I wanted to get serious with him). SO over the past couple days, things have seemed weird. We used to spend almost every day together. I asked him last night when I'd see him again and his response was "I don't know, I'll let you know." (Note we've spent almost everyday together). I haven't seen him since sunday, and he hasn't made it apparent he wants to see me tomorrow. This sounds stupid I know but this is not his normal pattern. He usually wants me to drive up to his house, every night (or him come here) because he can not sleep without me. Now it's "I'll let you know when..." I understand he can't come here because his transmission blew, but I still have a car that works. That response really hurt me, and I feel as if he may be losing interest in me. What are the signs a guy is losing interest, and is there any possibility he could be losing interest in me?
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Old 19th July 2006, 1:57 PM   #2
nicki
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Straight up tell him what you said in your post. Talk about the change in his behavior.

Ask him what's going on. I hope he tells you it's nothing. Don't expect him to admit to anything, however. Expect denial and denfensive behavior. That seems to be what some guys do if they are up to no good.

Maybe it has nothing to do with you, but whatever it is, he should be telling you if he is having trouble with something and needing a bit of time to deal with it.

Even then, you should be part of the solution. Two people working together towards something is a relationship. One person distancing themselves emotionally is damaging to a couple's intimacy.

I wouldn't worry too much unless this behavior continues. The best thing to do right now is to ask him what's going on, and then calmly withdraw. Give him his space.

Don't call him. Let him call you. Let him ask you to make plans. Even if that means a week.

I would be mighty pissed if he takes that long. It's too far out of his normal range of behavior (because you see each other a lot.)

People in relationships talk to each other. Even if it's to say "I'm confused. Let's talk in a few days."

Have you noticed anything else? Hang in there. You don't have enough info yet.
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Old 19th July 2006, 2:57 PM   #3
Dataniel
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I agree with what nicki said.

1. Tell him how you feel and find out if anything is wrong with him
2. Give him some space and wait for him to call you
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Old 19th July 2006, 3:27 PM   #4
superconductor
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He's doing exactly what a good man would do: He's making sure, through his words and actions, that he refuses to be your puppet.

Note the phrases you used in your post:
  • This was my choice, as I felt I was not ready for a relationship;
  • I finally decided I wanted to get serious.
Nowhere in your post is it mentioned that he's had any say in the matter.

You've essentially put him on hold, even after he had made it very clear that he wanted to be with you.

Now, it seems you've changed your mind.

He's probably making the assumption that you're playing games with him. I personally don't think you are, but I can easily see how he may think that.

So he's backing off, taking back his power in the relationship.

This is good, very good, for your relationship, because it shows that he's got a pair and won't be jerked around by your indecision.

If you get him back - and it's, at best, a 50/50 chance right now, given how you've treated him in the past - hang on to him, because he sounds like a good man.
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Old 19th July 2006, 3:52 PM   #5
BrokenSpirit
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I dont know if what the person above wrote is true but I would def talk to him... Follow what Nicki wrote def!

The only thing I will say is people are creatures of habit and when someone breaks their pattern, something is up! 110%... I always say follow your gut... Talk to him and Nicki is totally right... He should come to you to talk to you about it because 2 people in a relationship have to work together to make it work... GOOD LUCK! =))
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Old 20th July 2006, 1:10 AM   #6
Hitman10000
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Seems like he may be taking you for granted. Now if he was under 21, what kinda dude has a broke ass car, Don't give me flak for putting the spin on how a man should be, but a man should be able to take care of business or at least try and he isn't trying!

Ohhhh that on/off thing in the initial part of the relationship isn't good for the head, a relationship always has to start off good, never.. all weird initially and hoping it gets better. I dunno what I can say about relationships that's being held up by strings, I usually recommend cutting loose!
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Old 20th July 2006, 2:01 AM   #7
monkey00
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generally when patterns change, it means interest level is dropping. i dont think you need me to tell you what will be the outcome.
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