I went out with this guy (actually we carpooled on a three hour car trip together to see our violin teacher this week-end) who I seemed to get along with very well at first. He was easy to talk to, funny, but extremely arrogant about certain things, for example, he never stopped talking about what a great musician he was and how people had told him he was going to be a great composer one day. (the guy was only 22 and I never look at younger men!)

On the way back I asked him if he liked cats and he told me he hated them, that they were the most useless, stupid creatures on the planet. I mean, the way he said, "I HATE cats made me want to vomit."

I told him that I could never be good friends with a person who hated cats because I identified myself as a "cat woman"

and it was as if he hated my race.

He was completely insenstive to what I said and continued to cat bash, adding that he was going to buy a bumper sticker that said,"If you find a dead cat on the road it probably went under my tires" (something like that).

I said,"if you were the incarnation of another animal species talking like that, you sound like Hitler."

"that is a brash thing to say!" he argued.

"it's true!" I replied.

Anyhow, it is sad that I will no long be car-pooling with this guy, but I will stick to my ethics. Could you date a person who hated your favorite feline creatures?

[Tony T]

I don't think it would be a problem to date someone who just didn't like cats but who could tolerate them. But this guy is pretty passionate about his hatred for cats.

You should not only stop seeing him because of his vicious hatred of felines, but for his inconsideration in taking the topic further once you expressed your feelings on the matter. Additionally, he seems pretty stuck on himself and without any regard for the opinions or feelings of other people.

There is no doubt in my mind that most of this is due to his upbringing and immaturity. He will likely grow up someday and become more openminded. You'll probably be a grandmother when that happens.

Stay away from the guy...and keep your cats far away from him as well. But let him know you'll be listening for his musical compositions on the radio.

TRIVIA NOTE: Oddly enough, CATS closed on Broadway today after an 18-year run. There must be a lot of cat-lovers out there, the average play lasts less than two months on Broadway.

Yes. Its completely reasonable not to date a man who hates something you passionately love. Its not reasonable however to compare his hate of cats to Hitler's hate of the Jews. Hate expressed on a bumper sticker is not the same as hate expressed in a gas chamber. (Now if you were just using extreme humor, please forgive me for failing to catch on.)

I think you just let the arrogant fellow play with your buttons a bit too much. He played you better than he played the violin.