[confusedforsolong]

I just split up with my girlfriend of 3 years. She is heartbroken I feel guilty.
I moved back to my country of birth after been away for 20 years. After encountering troubled times I left my son there. When I came here I went back to see him every year but due to financial probs I missed going for a year. I now want to be with my son, my ex cannot return with me as she has her own daughter and responsibilities. I had to make a decision to either stay with her or go. I have chosen to go.... My family is there, my son and a possible romoantic relationship.
We split up a few times in 3 years as well as had a long distance relationship for half of it. Whenever we split up, be it for a week or however long, she always went straight to dating sites and in most cases ended up sleeping with another man. Time after time it happened and I took her back. I would not do such a thing as for me sex is special. She says its how she deals with it.
Last week she did the same again, during this time where my heart is in turmoil whether to stay or go. It seems to compound my decision but I still love her so much.

What I want to know is, am i feeling guilt right now? I know its a selfish decision and i should never have embarked on such a relationship but I didnt know how i was going to feel 3 years later.

I am really confused as she never once during this bad period asked me to stay, to reconsider or that she would fight for me. Only on the last time we saw each other (last night) Why could she not have asked sooner? I may have been more perceptive to her feelings. I love her but I think its guilt that I feel now.

Please help!!!!

[jmars]

I'm in a similar situation myself; albeit, my wife and I live in the same country.

I think that you really have to examine the relationship as a whole...how it has gone over the past 3 years.

People have their moments of weakness, their moments of doubt and confusion, their moments of need, but it seems to me that in the long run they always revert to the kind of people they inherently ARE.

Family, a son, homeland, and a potential relationship with someone who truly cares for you is alot to pass up. Especially in favour of someone that has laid precedent after precedent of faithlessness.

Precedent, an established pattern of behavior/action, speaks volumes. Volumes of undeniable, verifiable truth. In contrast, the heart is a mysterious and fickle thing, as capable of misleading and being mislead as the tongue.