Recovery from guy freaking himself out

kellyp1 · 5th July 2006, 5:55 PM

Is there recovery from a guy that started having feelings and ran from it? Does NC help here or is it a lost caused from the get go? Curious to hear others experiences.

Tim'sAngel · 5th July 2006, 6:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kellyp1

Is there recovery from a guy that started having feelings and ran from it? Does NC help here or is it a lost caused from the get go? Curious to hear others experiences.

I think it all depends on what happened in specific situations. Is this something happening to you? Maybe if you give more detail you can get better advice.

There are several things that can make men or women "freak out". Trust issues, family matters, red flags, insecurities... I don't know about complete NC but I wouldn't think calling him everyday or showing up at his house every night would help the situation.

Max Caress · 5th July 2006, 6:09 PM

Difficult to say off hand Kelly ... need more details. What happened exactly?

Max

blind_otter · 5th July 2006, 7:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kellyp1

Is there recovery from a guy that started having feelings and ran from it? Does NC help here or is it a lost caused from the get go? Curious to hear others experiences.

I'm a female but I run away from feelings and I tend to break up with people. For me, I would say, NC doesn't really work because I'm already trying to forget the person before the door is closed behind them.

kellyp1 · 5th July 2006, 8:32 PM

I will keep it short, he was overthinking where things were going and said he did not want to rush into a relationship (we were far from rushing, very far) but his response made it sound like he was having feelings that he did not know what to do with. I did not ask for anything from him and as I had told him, did not even consider us really even dating yet. He told me he needed to focus on his job right now but that we could slowly become friends or slowly start dating over time. The problem is, things have been akward since he brought it up and the whole thing came up because of whatever was happening in his head. It is hard to be normal when you are worrying about the other person misinterrupting it as a sign that you are trying to relationship trap them.

MarnieGirl · 5th July 2006, 8:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kellyp1

The problem is, things have been akward since he brought it up and the whole thing came up because of whatever was happening in his head. It is hard to be normal when you are worrying about the other person misinterrupting it as a sign that you are trying to relationship trap them.

then yes, it would be a good time to start spending some time apart until, (if it does) get back to normal or at the very least, somewhat more comfortable.

kellyp1 · 5th July 2006, 9:07 PM

He is traveling for work until the end of the month and does not live near me. I am just wondering what other people's experiences have been with the "freak themselves out guy". Is there ever really hope that they will get over it? He is not the first one I have personally dated but I think the rare thing is, the other ones did come around after they got over their own internal discussions. I am going to go out on a limb and say I think that is an exception to the cause. The sad thing is, this is the only one out of my bunch of freak themselves out guys that I felt was something really special...

One more thing, told me his heart was broken badly by this girl and that he did not ever want to be in that position again. Said he would rather be old and alone then risk getting hurt.