So what could make her to call after all these months?. I have been doing so well, almost forgetting about her and then all of a sudden it is like i am back to square one.
Why do this to me??. It has been 7 months, she broke up with me because she met a new man and she told me they were so much in love. I did not beg , i just wished them the best of luck, i did manage to talk to the guy though. Since novemeber last year, i have gone through some hard times, thinking of her every day..i have not contacted in any way..no phones, no text, no nothing.
So this weekend, i was out for my morning work out. i came back at 7 am and there i see her missed call, her number still the same as it was. No message though.
Here i am, wondering what would make her call after all..i am so mad at her for doing this. Now i have to think about her..i wish she never called or something. Am i loosing my head??. I don't want her back..no way i can ever think of that. But now i can't stop to think of the memories.
What do you guys think??..what are her intentions?. Is the new guy now becoming boring or what?.
Its difficult to say what her intensions are. After 7 months she may be offering the friendship card. She may also be doing what you speculate. She could also be checking in just to see how your managing?
I know this is difficult, but hopefully you can move past this quickly. I wouldnt call her back. If she does call, explain to her that you dont think its a good idea that you speak any longer. Just my opinion...
Its difficult to say what her intensions are. After 7 months she may be offering the friendship card. She may also be doing what you speculate. She could also be checking in just to see how your managing?
I know this is difficult, but hopefully you can move past this quickly. I wouldnt call her back. If she does call, explain to her that you dont think its a good idea that you speak any longer. Just my opinion...
I agree with Diver. I wouldn't respond to the call. Eventhough, she's contacted you and dredged up all those old feeling, I think it would be easier to get over all of those memories as things stand now. If you make contact, have a talk etc...That will set you back even further. How longwere the two of you together? Even if it was a significant amount of time, what she did is inexcusable. You've done the right thing by leaving her alone. The break-up was her decision. I would continue on the path you're already on.
All the best,
GW
I agree with Diver. I wouldn't respond to the call. Eventhough, she's contacted you and dredged up all those old feeling, I think it would be easier to get over all of those memories as things stand now. If you make contact, have a talk etc...That will set you back even further. How longwere the two of you together? Even if it was a significant amount of time, what she did is inexcusable. You've done the right thing by leaving her alone. The break-up was her decision. I would continue on the path you're already on.
All the best,
GW
My question - why couldn't she call after a month or two months or three months..why now?. Is she realising something..
We were together for 3 1/2 years. I was her first boy friend and we were really in love. I never thought of her leaving..but i was wrong. Well, what all these has done, is to make angry..more angry than i ever was with her, I am sure she will call a gain, may be they know how to make us more confused..
Actually, I was thinking the same thing when I saw your post. You would think one would call after 2-3 months, then again, I've seen some posts where people were contacted after a year of NC. The two of you had a significant amount of time together. I'm begining to think maybe things fell apart for her and her other man. There's always that possibilty that she's looking to you for comfort. Either that or maybe, she just begining to realize what she's missing out on. If you honestly are over her and the relationship and know you would not want to get back together, simply let it go or if you do speak, tell her you have no interest in getting back together, if that's how you truly feel . It's a tough situation, as you have to sit and wonder what the call is all about and what her intentions are. I've not heard from my ex in 2 months and have pretty much written her off. I'm sure if you wait it out, she'll try to get in touch with you again. Let the call go to voicemail and see if she leaves a message. I'm sure others will give you some more insight on your situation.
Yeah its very strange that she should call you after 7 months!! She could quite possibly be having problems with her new guy and thinking about the good times with you and regretting her decision or she just felt it was long enough since she heard from you and wanted to see how your doing!! Either way wait till she calls you back and decide if you wanna answer. You've maintained a strong NC policy thus far and its already upset you that she called so u d'ont wanna end up at square one again!! You've come to far!! But only you can decide if you wanna chat to her. Personally i would'nt answer or call back. She made her decision and it hurt you, now you have to do whats right for you and if that means continuing your NC policy and her being hurt well thats to bad for her. have a think about it....
A friend of mine told me that she thinks i have moved on and just want to drug me back to thinking about her, or it is just another way of starting a nother drama.
I have no time of contacting her..i am sure i will never do that, leave a lone answering her phone call, unless she blocks her number. I could have done that the first month.
What good can come out it anyways?, to me she is a broken glass.
Your totally right!! It won't make any difference if you call her or not!! leave her in the past and rememebr the good times but look forward to the future. Your friend could be right!! Unfortunatley some people do like the idea of somebody crying over them as it gives them a bit if an ego and makes them feel special. I know my Ex to certain extent even though she was a lovely person did get a bit arrogant because of it. But its a kick in the ass for them when they find out you've picked youself up and moved on. Their not as special to us anymore as they thought they were...
So i went to church last weekend. This is the same church my ex gf goes to. I have not been there since we broke up coz i wanted to get well after the break up. I was not going there with the purpose of seeing her, i did not care less about that.
She was not in church, but her mum and younger brothers were there. After church, the brothers were so happy to see me, they insisted i take them for lunch. So we all went for luch, plus other little cousins of mine.
I never asked my ex gf brothers how she is doing or where she is ..nothing about her came in our talks the whole time.
I dropped them back to church after lunch and i went home.
Now five days later..my ex called me again. She called last night some minutes to midnight. I was not home and she never left a message.
This is the second time.. i don't how many times she has called, but i am sure about two times as i can see her number. The same question is Why with the phone calls and no message????.
I am not trying to get back with her, leave a lone being her friend. May be i sent a wrong picture by taking her brothers to lunch???
I am going back to church tomorrow and i am sure she will be there, i am freeking out. Some body...what should i do?..why is she making this so difficult..she left me and told me herself that she was in love with her new man!!
If this does bring you back to stage 1, strive harder and don't let this whole " stage thing get in the way'. It's a process so let it take how ever long it wants even if it takes longer from her finally contacting you.
Obviously your on her mind right about now. And if she is trying to get back with you, I woulden't! She made her decision and had another relationship right?
BLock the number. Block it before she calls more and you get more obsessed over it. Burn some bridges if you have to. I would be really curious and suspicious as to why she is calling you
Wow imagine an ex calling after a year or 7 months? I would be really curious....But hold up on talking to her. Your still hurt.
__________________
When the doors of perception are clensed, things will appear as they truely are
If this does bring you back to stage 1, strive harder and don't let this whole " stage thing get in the way'. It's a process so let it take how ever long it wants even if it takes longer from her finally contacting you.
Obviously your on her mind right about now. And if she is trying to get back with you, I woulden't! She made her decision and had another relationship right?
BLock the number. Block it before she calls more and you get more obsessed over it. Burn some bridges if you have to. I would be really curious and suspicious as to why she is calling you
Wow imagine an ex calling after a year or 7 months? I would be really curious....But hold up on talking to her. Your still hurt.
thanks a lot for your reply..i am still hurting, though not like it the first two into after the breakup. All these phone calls just make me more angry. Why don't they just leave us a lone given the fact they moved on to a better place???
Maybe because they haven't moved on to a better place. Not to put false hope in your head. But even if she does want you back, why rewind back in to the past when there could be someone who woulden't ever risk leaving you for 7 months. Not saying you are but this is still really tender for you. She also could just be seeing how you are managing and wants to chat, which you are not ready for. This is normal. It will be a year for me on aug. 3 and let me tell you how bad it still hurts me, how angry I still am. But I do feel alot different than I felt a year ago when this all happend.
Just give it alot more time, you are going to need it! Are you going to block her number? It's real easy.
My goodness, please please please do not answer the phone when she calls again, and she will. I dont know you but I know a little bit and I know FIRSTHAND you should not talk to this woman. I know firsthand, almost same situation as you. I talked to my ex for nearly a month when she showed up out of the blue(9 months) like yours did and all it got me was a loss of interest in other females and depression was starting to kick in. Please do not mess with this woman, ask any guy whos been there (me too now) they will tell you that for some strange ***ing reason ex girlfriends will do this... do they like ***ing with our heads....who knows but she will only be ***ing your large head, trust me.
Im just dropping by and found this thread. But I think mewithmelt gave me a good idea. What if she has moved on and is ***ng with our head. Maybe she wants to give the impression that hmm the relationship that she is in may not be good, but messing with my ex's head will make her look good cause we'll tell all our friends that we can't get over them. In this case they will look glamourous! Basically using us as a bait for her to lure other guys! Dunno, just an idea that came to my thought.
Good luck vipi, just a thought cause my ex still calls and its been a year. Im on the same track as you, but we have been talking for a year ever since we broke up. My situation is that I believe my ex has moved on. So our contact must stop, cause I don't get a clue what she wants, if all she wants is friendship from me. Maybe they are asking for forgiveness for doing something like dumping us, that it was okay for them to do so, like an approval. But good luck vipi!
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