[freshstart]

Hi have been seeing a lass for three months. Meet up once or twice a week for a drink etc. She has just been home to see her family for a week; came back and we went for a drink and she was very off. Later she texts me and i asked her if she needed some space cos thats the vibe i got. She then texts back saying that she needs to find herself, needs to become her again. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???? So i am stuck at home wandering is that genuine? Do I take it as literal or some lame way of breaking up with me?? I have the oppurtunity to email her should I just for clarification??? Should I email her and just ask her straight out if that is her breaking up with me? That is not the space that i said I would give her though! It wouldn't bother me except I left my wife for this woman!!!! I have loved her for longer than she knows and she told me that she loves me too PLEASE HELP

[RealBroken]

I had a girl leave me for "i need to find myself"

She had met someone else.

Its a load of ****,.... it means they wanna be free i think.

Now i could be totally wrong here ok, but just passing on MY own experience.

She was only 20 back then, was 5 years ago.

Sound like this woman could be alot older so could be totally different.

Dont

[RealBroken]

I had a girl leave me for "i need to find myself"

She had met someone else.

Its a load of ****,.... it means they wanna be free i think.

Now i could be totally wrong here ok, but just passing on MY own experience.

She was only 20 back then, was 5 years ago.

Sound like this woman could be alot older so could be totally different.

Dont contact her, its the worst thing u could do.

Read other threads about NO contact.

If u want her back, no contact is the answer....
or you'll PUSH her away.

Trust me, its the best option. i wish i had learnt it ages ago.

[RealBroken]

Its kinda like this.

For her to want to be with you again...... she needs to miss you and feel that she's uncomfortable without you.

Contacting her will not create this. It will push her away.

She needs to wonder what the hell u are up to and why are u fine with all this. She'll be curious.

Its the only way IF theres a way

[Winfield]

Ah, the good old vibes - see, they'll never let you down!

I think it sounds as though she is pushing the OP away by telling him she "needs to find herself".

I've had it too before (well, not that she needed to "find herself", but that she was "busy"). But why not turn this situation to your advantage? Tell her that you need to find her...or you're calling the whole thing off!

Short and sharp - but at least you'll know where you stand!

At the very least though, don't contact her through e-mail or text - give her a phone (you said you'd texted her, so I assume you have her number), and if she doesn't pick up, leave a voicemail - then the ball's in her court to reply.

she told me that she loves me too

Those are just mere words...easily said, but difficult to mean. The old saying "actions speak louder than words" is so very true...and if she really loved you, she wouldn't put you through such an emotional rollercoaster.

Don't be a doormat for her or anyone else - good luck!

[NightsInWhiteSatin]

Originally Posted by freshstart

Hi have been seeing a lass for three months. Meet up once or twice a week for a drink etc. She has just been home to see her family for a week; came back and we went for a drink and she was very off. Later she texts me and i asked her if she needed some space cos thats the vibe i got. She then texts back saying that she needs to find herself, needs to become her again. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???? So i am stuck at home wandering is that genuine? Do I take it as literal or some lame way of breaking up with me?? I have the oppurtunity to email her should I just for clarification??? Should I email her and just ask her straight out if that is her breaking up with me? That is not the space that i said I would give her though! It wouldn't bother me except I left my wife for this woman!!!! I have loved her for longer than she knows and she told me that she loves me too PLEASE HELP

Thats exactly what my ex said to me before we got together....he said his life was screwed up and so was he and he needs to find himself....and i was like...ok...this is new....

But despite what he said he wouldn't stay away...he'd grab me and kiss me...blah blah blah eventually we got together..a week later...he practically shagged my best mate...but we stayed together...then a week after that he took me on holiday and told me he was in love with me...we dated for nine months...he never gave me his time or attention...never showed me that love he apparently felt for me...then he dumps me....takes me back and dumps me again a week later...saying 'i said to you at the start i need to sort my life out i need to find myself but i still love you'

so yeah the moral of the story is...save yourself heart ache trust me you will regret it if you dont

just move on in a different direction....dont let her screw you up to

good luck

[freshstart]

Hi everyone; just a quick update. I didn'tcontact her but shecameround of her own accord last night to watch the footy. Stayed for the first half and promptly left the second the half time whistle blew. I just asked her straight in a text if it was worth us even having what we did? She eventually said that shewas not ready for a relationship; she loved seeing me but her future is not in the area that we live. As I have a daughter down here it would be unfair for her to commit and then in the future leave and the prospect of a long distance relationship is not something that she wants.

She says that she hopes we can be mates and still go for a drink and shag but the emotional commitment of a relationship is something that she isn't looking for. I am still going to see her (I think) can't help it as we work in the same building and we still have plans made for a weeks time to go away for the weekend but I think after that has happened I am just going to let her go and do my best to move on.

Isnt it a shame when you think that you have found someone special. Someone that you would do near enough anything for and the feelings are not mutual.

Thanks to everyone on here; looks like it is time to resort to plan B.