[lonelybird]

Hi, everyone I am planing to write a personal joural "online dating reality check" . welcome you guys' comment and help me go through with this. I would write my story here from time to time until I meet him and see what happen...

well, i only have two serious long term Relationship, both are LDR. Limited Sex experience. Right now I have the second Long distance Relationship for a year, and he is at another half earth. (Yeah, people say find one nearer all the time, I know, and don't quick say "if not loser, then a whatever). we pretty know what the other look like. and recently we are going to meet in his country because I have a business conference in his country. Until now he kept regular contact with me, although sometimes I felt down because lack of his presence, but happy again when he call. I am not a girl want call everyday, but sure want more call .
not sure can do this journal
anyway only say something here made me happy again
see you guys

[ashnicole]

I think I understood that. Either way, good luck.

[riobikini]

re:

Lonelybird: "...i only have two serious long term Relationship, both are LDR. Limited Sex experience. Right now I have the second Long distance Relationship for a year..."

Lonelybird, I see there's even a forum in this site *dedicated* to long-distance relationships, and I *do* realize that many people carry out the motions of one and (somehow, miraculously) manage to wind up sticking feelings to the whole ( blow-my-mind) deal, -but *truly*, I think that, unless you are in the *presence* of someone -breathing his/her air- seeing the mood-changes in their eyes, and smelling the cologne as it heats up from the *contact*, -there ***really*** is ***no*** relationship happening. At least, a healthy one between two people with their heads screwed on correctly, who approve the traditional ideals of being *together* and creating future generations.

My view is that it amounts to nothing more than the developing attachment of familiar feelings based largely on a fantasical *idea* of who -and *what* you *think* the person is.

You want a *reality check*, -here's one:

For the most part, it's like Mexico: what's in virtual reality, should probably *stay* in virtual reality, and live your real romances- the ones where you can actually make and have babies- outside the PC.

The only exception I allow, here, in my own thinking for this scenario, is with those relationships which were formed *in-person*, or have moved beyond the reliance of the PC, and have some *actual* time invested in some kind of a non-virtual history with each other.

For example: men who are in the military and are gone for long stretches, leaving their significant other back at safe harbor.

With that, any kind of contact is welcome by both partners, and I feel it includes the PC, virtual sex, and whatever you can manage to stay close and express your heartfelt emotions to each other.

Except for similar circumstances, I would believe in Santa Claus before I'd believe in a 'longterm', meaningful, *virtual* 'relationship'.

(I want to ask -but am afraid of the answers I might get- what do you do? -email each other engagement rings?)

These 'relationships' simply do not qualify as one, for me, personally, -at least, with the criteria I use to define what a relationship *is*.

Take care.

All said in kindness,
-Rio

[ashnicole]

Originally Posted by riobikini

All said in kindness,
-Rio

I agree, 10,000% with everything you just said. Good job.

[lonelybird]

Thank you guys take time to reply. Almost every friend of mine talk very similar things like yours. Well, this situation is not what I can have control over. It is not I want to find one nearer then I can find one, just did not happen this way. Now I began to think it is FATE or something. I am sure that in our life there are only few who we can feel connected with on certain special way, am I wrong?

[lonelybird]

Thank you take time to reply this thread. I know you said so out of kindness. Most of my friends said very similar things like yours. But this is not the things I can have control over. I want a real meaningful relationship near me too. but it did not happen this way until now. I began to think this is about FATE or something.
I don't fantacy who he is, and know him based our phone talks. don't know where this lead, but if something good happen, then it is great, if not, then I would learn more about myself.