I have had relations with a MM since nov of 05, as we work toghether. He will be leaving in about two weeks or so as he got another job. He tells me that he would like to see me even if he does not work there anymore. The other day I was with him and he made me tell him that I loved him. He said that he knew it and that he felt it. We were kissing then there was sort of an uncomfortable silence. He then proceeded to say that I do not love him that I love f******g him, he said it over and over agin until I asked him to stop. The "Anthony Robbins" way of making me believe something really pissed me off.
Why then do I have a empty feeling in my stomach knowing that he will leave in a few weeks. At this point I feel like a fool as I should I am sure he is just using me for one thing, but for me it is more. Part of me hates myself at this point. I hate myself anyway for being with him, there is no way to rationaloze it. Sometimes he can be so sweet, as he said that he cares about me, but then he states that we could never be toghether... I know this, but then why the hell am I with him in the first place. I suck!!!
he states that we could never be toghether... I know this, but then why the hell am I with him in the first place. I suck!!!
You don't suck...I've asked myself this, and don't have an answer and instead of backing off and stopping seeing him. I just keep on seeing him when I can
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[SIZE=1][COLOR=#0033ff]Full Metal Alchemist: Nothing is perfect because life isnt perfect, and thats what makes it so beautiful ~Roy Mustang [/COLOR][/SIZE]
I know it is like an addiction, and I do have feelings for him, he tells me that he cares about me, I don't ask he just lets me know. I am so confused and will miss not seeing him everyday. He does not want me he has a family that he goes home to everyday. This is really messing me up!!! Sometimes I feel strong and say the hell with it I will not put myself in that situation again and then I am unable to say no...I feel like crying right now... from anger mostly
My mm did the the same to me. He kept asking, "do you love me?" I was reluctant in saying it eventhough I felt it. I ignorned the first time he asked but he kept asking , doing the same thing your MM did. "You only like Effing me, Your using me for sex."
The next day He brings it up again, just like you, while kissing and I asked why did he need to hear that, he reponded "Becasue I don't want to be the only one in love here" Well my heart melted...I said it.
I think its like crossing the finish line to get a girl to say that. they've won...Men know that once a women is in love she will keep coming back for more, no matter how rediculous the situation may get. Its a game to him. He is already plaining his esxcape route with you when he says : {we could never be toghether} Drop him before he leaves you in a world of pain.
I have had relations with a MM since nov of 05, as we work toghether. He will be leaving in about two weeks or so as he got another job. He tells me that he would like to see me even if he does not work there anymore.
If you really want it over and don't want pain in your life, take him going to another job as a blessing. You won't see him everyday, have to talk to him, deal with him...That's a plus! Start detaching yourself NOW and be blessed that he's leaving!
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The other day I was with him and he made me tell him that I loved him.
What do you mean, he made you tell him that you loved him? Or do you mean because of your feelings for him, you couldn't hold it in anymore...
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He said that he knew it and that he felt it. We were kissing then there was sort of an uncomfortable silence.
Ego. That was an ego feed for him it seems.
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He then proceeded to say that I do not love him that I love f******g him, he said it over and over agin until I asked him to stop. The "Anthony Robbins" way of making me believe something really pissed me off.
End it. The guy is screwing with your feelings and isn't worth of you loving him. I hope you know that.
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Why then do I have a empty feeling in my stomach knowing that he will leave in a few weeks. At this point I feel like a fool as I should I am sure he is just using me for one thing, but for me it is more. Part of me hates myself at this point. I hate myself anyway for being with him, there is no way to rationaloze it. Sometimes he can be so sweet, as he said that he cares about me, but then he states that we could never be toghether... I know this, but then why the hell am I with him in the first place. I suck!!!
Boils down to this. He's married, he has a wife. He has no intention of leaving his wife, getting a divorce and marrying you. Sorry to sound harsh, but the reality of your situation is not what you hoped it would be.
Please, for your own sake, end it now. I'm sure doing that will be painful but can you picture your life in 2 years? Still hanging on to a man who's married and hoping for a future with him? Look deep inside yourself, take a step back and try to be more objective. I think if you do that, you'll toughen up, detach and make some better choices for yourself.
Thanks butafly...you make it so clear, what happened with you and your MM did you take your own advice and how is it going now?
My Ex wasn't married yet, but engaged which he failed to mention . I wish I followed my own advise but i didn't know, I thought I was in a normal relationship, only to have the ball dropped on me much later. I guess he was getting sloppy juggling the two of us or trying to sabatage the whole thing to get me walk.
I was at his apartment and started to see things that weren't right. 2 toothbrushes instead of one. body lotion from bath&body works. I questioned him and he explained it away and flipped it on me....Made it seem like i was paranoid and over reacting. Normally If I wasn't in love I will call Bull*****, but since I LOVED him, I had to trust him. His attitude towards me started changing as his wedding day came closer again he told me he loved me and i need to trust him. But I knew things weren't adding up. Soon after I found out he was engaged and the wedding was in one week.
Thats when I came here for support and read the countless stories of people who told the same tail with the same crappy lines and same tactics their MM used on them. Thats when I reconized its all a game. I wish I had know of LS before MM, it would have saved me sooooo much pain and disappointment.
But you know. You have us as a resource...we have been through it and can recognize what he is doing to you...don't wait around to see whats gonna happen. Walk away Now!
My Ex wasn't married yet, but engaged which he failed to mention . I wish I followed my own advise but i didn't know, I thought I was in a normal relationship, only to have the ball dropped on me much later. I guess he was getting sloppy juggling the two of us or trying to sabatage the whole thing to get me walk.
I was at his apartment and started to see things that weren't right. 2 toothbrushes instead of one. body lotion from bath&body works. I questioned him and he explained it away and flipped it on me....Made it seem like i was paranoid and over reacting. Normally If I wasn't in love I will call Bull*****, but since I LOVED him, I had to trust him. His attitude towards me started changing as his wedding day came closer again he told me he loved me and i need to trust him. But I knew things weren't adding up. Soon after I found out he was engaged and the wedding was in one week.
Thats when I came here for support and read the countless stories of people who told the same tail with the same crappy lines and same tactics their MM used on them. Thats when I reconized its all a game. I wish I had know of LS before MM, it would have saved me sooooo much pain and disappointment.
But you know. You have us as a resource...we have been through it and can recognize what he is doing to you...don't wait around to see whats gonna happen. Walk away Now!
i was once the ow with a mm that did this. he would use this kind of psychology on me. "you look so happy" etc, an attempt to make me think i was happy when i was with him. he also wanted this kind of ego boost "you love f***ing me dont you?". of course i knew what he was doing, and yes it was offputting, i think he thought that those tricks were working. in the situation i would turn it back on to him. "no, you love f***ing me.... you love me...you look so happy to see me.."
it took awhile but i eventually worked through my feelings for him.
now when i look back on that kind of behaviour, i cant think why i continued with the relationship.
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. I wish I followed my own advise but i didn't know, I thought I was in a normal relationship, only to have the ball dropped on me much later. I guess he was getting sloppy juggling the two of us or trying to sabatage the whole thing to get me walk.
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