[carrieteach]

This is my first time posting on the internet. I do need some advice or some new outlook on my situation from someone with experience. I met a man on a trip to Europe a year ago. We immediately connected and had an affair. When the trip was over it was understood that I was married and that even though we truly connected with each other, it wouldn't work. However, we have stayed in contact with each other and I find that it is very hard to be happy in my current relationship with my husband. Love and a serious relationship has not been mentioned with the other party in Europe, but both of us enjoy each other. What should I do?

[Craig]

You should end the affair with Mr. Europe and focus on your marriage, through counseling if possible. If it doesn't work out then divorce your husband and start over with Mr. Europe who while he may appear to be your soulmate to you he may actually have no intentions of being with you for anything but sex. In fact he could be a player and be married for all you know.

[carrieteach]

Thank you for your reply. I don't even know where to start. I actually started counseling and stopped the communication with the other man but then I think of him often and ended up calling back. Before this encounter, I have never even thought about having an affair. I really appreciate your advice and will consider all options. I do know that he is not married and I have had the opportunity of meeting some of his family.

[AMBERINVEGAS]

Originally Posted by carrieteach

This is my first time posting on the internet. I do need some advice or some new outlook on my situation from someone with experience. I met a man on a trip to Europe a year ago. We immediately connected and had an affair. When the trip was over it was understood that I was married and that even though we truly connected with each other, it wouldn't work. However, we have stayed in contact with each other and I find that it is very hard to be happy in my current relationship with my husband. Love and a serious relationship has not been mentioned with the other party in Europe, but both of us enjoy each other. What should I do?

I GUESS YOU WOULD REALLY NEED TO FIND OUT EXACLTY WHAT THIS GUY IN EUROPE EXPECTS FROM YOU OR EACH OTHER. DOES HE FEEL THE SAME? DOES HE LOVE YOU? IF HE DOES AND YOU THINK HE'S SERIOUS, ARE YOU THAT MUCH IN LOVE WITH HIM THAT YOU WILL LEAVE AND STAY WITH HIM OR BE WITH HIM? LIFE IS GAME OF CHANCE. SOMETIMES WE THINK THE FIRST PERSON WE MARRY IS "OUR SOUL MATE" OR "THE ONE", THAT COULD OR MAY NOT BE TRUE. DON'T YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO FIND OUT? DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY? IF YOU CUT OFF TIES WITH THIS MAN FOR LETS SAY TWO MONTHS..NO CONTACT AT ALL. JUST AS A TEST...AND YOU AGREE TO CALL EACH OTHER AFTER THAT TIME GOES BY. WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENCES IN THE COMMUNICATION? IS IT DEAD, OR ARE THE FEELING THERE FOR BOTH OF YOU STRONGER THAN EVER. WHAT HAPPENS YEARS FROM NOW YOU STAY AWAY FROM YOUR FRIEND..AND YOU END UP HATING YOUR CURRENT MARRIGE? NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR FRIEND AND HAVING TO FORGET HIM, BUT MAYBE SOMETHING ELSE COMES UP? I WOULD THINK THIS OVER UNTIL MY HEAD SPINS. I WOULD ALSO, IN A TACTFULL WAY ASK YOUR FRIEND IN EUROPE "WHAT ARE WE AND WERE ARE WE GOING? OR ARE WE GOING ANYWHERE AT ALL".

[Sup]

I suppose you haven't even told your husband? He should know. Why should your husband be made to live a LIE?! Let HIM make a choice now, you had yours.

[stillhere]

First, i would say to cut ties with the guy in Europe, because while he still in the picture, you won't be able to fix things with your H. Counseling is a good idea.

If that does not work, then i would say divorce him. If you are not happy, then you should find someone who can make you happy, and it will allow your H to find someone he can be happy with as well.

If the guy from Europe is the one, then maybe later on you two will end up together, but long distance relationships are very hard. I'm guessing that is why it should be easy to cut ties with him. It's not like he's going to show up on your doorstep tomorrow.