How do I end this nightmare?

Guest

I have been living with a woman for eight years. I can see it is not working.. I do not like her one bit, and she would make no effort to change.

I just keep developing and changing and she's stuck into her ugly little habits. She reckons she loves me, but I can't see how you can love someone and not bother to make the slightest effort for him even when he finds and enjoys all these opportunities for change - from dancing classes to sporting activities to learning languages to meeting people and going to parties - she wouldn't even bother to speak to anyone - just sit quietly in the corner. She attends with me, but it's obvious she's not really participating - just going through the motions.

Which is why we just keep growing apart more and more - both socially and personally.

So I have made the decision - if she's not bothered she has to go.

BUT, here's the problem - I am paying all the bills (she wouldn't bother to learn anything or find a good job, despite my offering to pay all expenses) and if I dump her, she'll be practically on the street. Not only she won't be able to afford nowhere near the lifestyle we're enjoying now - nice restaurants, travel all over world, etc, but she'll not be able to actually pay for accomodation other than a single room in a ****ty remote place shared with illegal immigrants.

I feel responsible, because I gave her all this stuff she's having now in the first place. Moreover (and this is killing me!!) I feel responsible, because I did not find the right approach to change her - I feel like eight years have been blasted. Neither of us have any family to rely on, and for that matter, she has no friends who can help her out either - watching tv and procrastinating does not make you very popular....

Yet at the same time my economic position will actually improve massively, not having to spend anything for her.

I suppose I am feeling guilty and all, but I would not do this to anyone. But this is exaggerated by the emotional dependency she's managed to achieve - I see her almost as some sort of disabled child in my custody (except she brought it all onto herself by sheer lazyness).

What do I do - this is killing me!!! I am thinking of buying her a house and paying her a regular income or something just to get rid of her.....