[Diver012]

I was living the good life. I had a good job. I had great friends. I had a new girlfriend that digged me. Then, I get a call one morning at work. (I worked from home, hehe cant beat that.) I was told..

"Your future with this company is in Minneapolis, MN."

I looked for work, could'nt find any. I wanted to stay right where I was at. This was right after 9/11 and there werent a lot of employment opportunities available. I packed up my stuff, said goodbye to my girlfriend and friends, and moved, hating every minute of it.

Fast forward 3 years later... I still hated Minneapolis. I didnt get along with the lifestyle up there. Most of my friends and family wanted me closer to them... I mostly wanted to get back to Ohio. I walked into work on a Monday morning, and out of know where, started typing a letter of resignation. I quit.

I moved to North Carolina and stayed with my parents. It was only supposed to be a temporary situaiton. Out of the blue a job down the street falls into my lap. I have reservations as my original plan was to go back to Ohio. I think to myself, why not. I could do this. Live at the beach. Make descent money and be close to my family. I accept and decide to stay.

I built a brand new house. Job is going great. Im happy. Exstatic even. In walks HER!!

Im not thinking of a relationship with this woman, after all, I work with her. But I do think shes neat. I wouldnt mind hanging out and drinking a few beers with her. SO 1 day I invite her out for a drink. I had no intentions of dating her. It just happened...

Fast forward 5 months... Were in Love. Weve talked about moving in with eachother. Weve talked about marriage. Things were moving a little to quickly.. didnt realize it at teh time. After getting stood up on night, the next day I get a call at work, while in a meeting, and she dumps me. I hear things like...I know I said I love you, but I dont. My feelings just changed. I dont know what happened.

Im devestated at this point. In physical shock. Literraly. I never realized that the body could suffer physical pain from an emotional hardship. I was in complete love, and what happened was sudden, and absolute.

Its been a month since that moment. I have gotten down on my knees and prayed to GOD ALMIGHTY for guidance, something I havent done in a long, long time. Seems like every time I do, things seem a little bit clearer... God works im mysterious ways.

Im in my new house. It seems empty. I want to fill it suddenly. While I was dating my Ex, it didnt seem to matter that much. Now, I want to decorate the bathrooms. I want to buy the Kitchen Table ive been wanting. I want to put pictures on teh wall. Not because im trying to impress anyone, juse because this is MY home! Nobody elses.

Is it possible I got so caught up in this woman, I lost site of what I came here to do... Im beginning to think so.. I take what I need from the experience, and let the rest go...

[Diver012]

Damnit I hate this crap!! Ya think your done crying and turn around and break down again.

[garnet]

Diver,

I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad. I think you should follow through on fixing up your home. I've been in a similar situation and it's very therapeutic to do that. Putting some of that energy toward YOU and your life is an important step. It sounds like she did come along right as you were getting a fresh start going for yourself. Keep thinking about that and try to keep the focus on yourself as much as possible. Take care.

[Sand&Water]

This is a difficult time for you. I'm sure your emotions are scattered all over the place, with no real guide to the future. However, it's not all over.

You've set yourself a nice life. You're content (I hope) with what you've done in this city, Your work, and home are a blessing. So embrace the gifts. God has a plan for you, and things will turn around for the better.

Be patient. I've recently realized how important patience remarkably is in this day and age, and espacially when you're on the verge of losing all hope.

There is a tomorrow for you. Hold yourself together, and try to do the best with what you've got. A gal will show up sometime.

Hope this helps. Oh and open your eyes wide, you don't want to miss 'your' woman.

[Diver012]

Thanks for the replies...... Im trying

[Diver012]

A little something I Wrote

Another Marriage is ending
Another dream is bending
Into distortion and mistrust
Where do we turn when we cant trust

The moments of passions and dreams
Outweigh true loves theme
Of commitment and respect
That 2 people should respect

The love and the passion
2 people 2 companions
diminishes over time
Loves worth only a dime

You say its forever
I believed your heart forever
No warning no sign
You left me behind

I didn’t get a reason
No explanation or a feeling
That you had changed your mind
You simply left me behind

For an unknown new lover
A fresh face to discover
New feelings new desires
Till the new love expires

Then you’ll toss him aside
When a new loves arise
When you see a friendly face
Your next victims in your gaze

Then you’ll turn around
And they wound be around
Youl be left alone
In your empty home

One day youll look back to them
You will wish for just one friend
Someone will say I told you so
You shouldn’t have let so many go