Bendit, you were right. He contacted me, at work two days ago...I have been sitting on it and waiting for it to actually effect me. I was at my desk when my phone rings. I heard his voice and my first reaction was to hang up, so I did. He then called back three times. On the last call, I told him it is within his best inerest to never contact me again, And he blurts out "I LOVE YOU M____!" I hung up on him again, and let calls go into my voicemail for the rest of the day. He then leaves me a voicemail saying how much he misses me, still loves me, and how he is "stuck" in the apartment lease with his new g/f but wants me to wait for him. This guy has some serious issues.
Since I changed my number, I think it made it far worse than it was before. I tell you, it is so much easier to just hang up or ignore calls then having to deal with the fact that even if he wanted to, he could never contact me again. BTW, he had to look up my new office number in the phone book to contact me, I never thought he would go to those lengths. I was getting hired by my new firm when we were breaking up, did not even think he remembered the name of my office. I don't know if this makes sense, but when I changed my number it made me actually fixate on my ex twice as much. Kind of like the saying "you always want what you can't have".
I actually feel more moved on than I have ever felt. Its stunts like this that he pulls, that make me realize that I will never have the type of relationship I want with my ex, and for now, I am okay with that. I finally feel like I am returning to normal. I am transforming from getting over a break up and being alone to being single! And reality check, I just realized that in June, it will be EIGHT MONTHS since we have broken up. It is seriously time for me to stop wasting my time on thinking about this guy.
I am going out on a date this weekend, with a guy who is an FBI Agent!! He is my friends cousin...Exciting!!
Don't want this to be a pointless thread, so final thought... There is light at the end of the tunnel and I am living proof that NC truley is the only way to go. Good luck and warmest wishes to everyone out there struggling to get over an ex.
Cheers,
2020
Last edited by 2020vision; 1st June 2006 at 1:06 PM..
2020 you have finally figured out what a LOSER this guy is. PATHETIC and needy and manipulative. He leaves you in heap on the side of the road, TAKES ON a new woman while you are left to cope on LS. Now he realizes you have him all figured out and you won't be his "plaything" anymore and his abandonment issues kicked in to overdrive. He is a pathetic LOSER and you have finally seen him for what he is.
Now here is how to fine tune the NC. If he gets through, the moment you hear his voice HANG UP. Can you really be rude to a BULLY? If he goes to voicemail, the moment you know its him DELETE. Don't listen to his BS. You see he knows what to say to push your emotional buttons. He has had plenty of practice. So when you listen you are in danger of falling under his manipulative spell. Don't ever engage him in conversation because he will get to you. There is a chance he is going to confront you at work in the parking lot. You may be dealing with a dangerous stalker. BE CAREFUL. Be on guard. Never engage him; you will lose that one.
Finally, read this and notice you are trying to escape from a dangerous LOSER.
Thank you. That article was my ex, hands down..creepy almost. But he is not my problem anymore!
I cannot stress how important it has been in my recovery to look at my ex in his true sense. No sugar coating, just the hard cold facts. It is so easy to wear rose colored glasses and only remember the good times, but the reality is, he is and always will be "The Loser" . It is such a relief to me to know that I will never have to be the one walking on eggshells for him again.
My only problem now..any tips on how to make this good attitude that I have going on now last?
2020 stay the course. you are going to have ups and downs. When you have a bad day get through it and they will be less and less frequent. Sometimes when you start dating again, the new guy will be compared to the X's good qualities and you may get disappointed. The best thing you can do for yourself is stay totally 100% NC and let time pass. This will heal you and before long you will be better than ever. Time and NC.
2020! You got the power back! Now, remember everything he did to you and how you felt. His turn to suffer. I wouldn't give him the time of day. Let him roll around in the bed he made. No way I'd open myself up to that again. Life is WAY too short.
It feels good to get some support that I am doing the right thing. It is about time I feel this way, I swear. I have been struggling with this, and the more time that has elapsed the more I realize how much of a loser he really is. You would think that it would make it easier on me that he is/was such an ass but it really doesn't matter when love is involved. But, I do not love him, and probably never did. It has taken me a while to realize that it was my own selfish/needy behavior that attracted someone that was just, if not worse than myself.
Well, 2020, that's the risk the dumper faces when they choose to dump. The risk that the other person recongnizes or even exaggerates the weaknesses in the relationship. It's a dangerous game the dumper plays, and it looks like this guy lost. Good for you!
And don't forget that women need iron in their diet. Men, on the other hand, do not. Men should never take vitamin pills with iron added. Women should.
Women lose iron through their monthly cycle. Obviously, men do not. Iron is very hard for the body to clear (it's a heavy metal), and if taken in excess, the liver cannot clear. Women need iron or they can become anemic. Actually, cooking in a cast iron pan is often enough iron for the body (yes, the "iron" in vitamins is the same as what comes out of the ground).
Women lose iron through their monthly cycle. Obviously, men do not. Iron is very hard for the body to clear (it's a heavy metal), and if taken in excess, the liver cannot clear. Women need iron or they can become anemic. Actually, cooking in a cast iron pan is often enough iron for the body (yes, the "iron" in vitamins is the same as what comes out of the ground).
Dr. GB
2020Vision, remember hindsight is always 20/20.
Anyway, I am happy that you realize what and why and how you feel about him. Sometimes it takes time to let the fog clear.
BTW, I believe the iron in vitamins are Fe2O3 versus the Fe3O2 isotope kind. Fe2 and Fe3 have different nucleus by like 1 neutron. The body does not digest one of the two "iron" I believe it might be Fe3 type that the body does not use as hemoglobin.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Ex Contacted Me
Thanks for the encouragement everyone!! 
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