most of the time my boyfriend and me get along really great and i want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. then maybe we'll get into a stupid arguement about nothing and say things we don't mean and i wonder how could i even think of spending my life with this jerk? and i swear to myself that i will never marry him or give him the satisfaction of knowing that i wanted to marry him as well. then we apologize later and things are back to square one which is where i want them to be. i don't understand why i am so ambivelent tho? if you really love someone wouldn't you want to be with them reguradless? i've been in several relationships in my life time and i always go through this and i hate it and am beginning to wonder if i am normal, what do you think? is this normal? if so what can one do about it. i come so close to kicking him out and moving back home to my home state. then when we make up i am so glad i didn't. also, when we go out i see him on stage singing his karaoke and my feelings for him are almost overwhelming and i swear i'll never leave him, i'll do better so we don't fight, and i wonder how can i ever think that i want to leave him. then we get home and it's the same ole thing over again. what is wrong with me? i only love him when things are good or i am admiring him from afar? that is not right, is it? please help. thank you. jen.

This has to do with realistic expecatations. Most young people in relationships today feel that things should be good all the time adn that if they're not, something must be wrong and you aren't really soulmates.

All relationships involve arguments. Arguments are good for relationships...they help you value what you have and consider your current position closely. They help relieve stress and inject a little reality into the sitation. Normal relationships have occassional arguments, bad ones have frequent arguments.

We argue for a simple reason: your boyfriend doesn't have your exact personality, so you will clash on some things.

This has to do with your attitude. And how your relationship is and how you react to situations. Talk about this with your boyfriend.

I always know in my heart that I deeply love my fiancee. Even when we argue, he can still say "I love you" and so can I. So maybe this is just an indication of the leel of involvement.

You can't decide on your own that you want to marry your bofriend! That's definately a joint decision.