I need advise. Of course, or why would I be here, right?

I got out of a relationship where my b/f was more interested in chating with women online in the personal and porn sites then having sex with me. He was emotionally abusive and unaffectionate. Quite soon after we broke up my best friend introduced me to his friend. We ended up as Fwb. He is gorgeous, in fantastic shape and is very charming. He's also a financial user, conceited and has to be moving and around people all of the time (which would drive me bonkers).

My issue is that I like his roommate. He is more of my type personality-wise and definately physically. He's one of those guys who I've always wanted to date, but never had the nerve to go after. The Fwb has told me "John" has said I'm pretty and he is attracted to me. Fwb also said John is around more then he usually is and makes an effort to flirt with me (he is a little shy).

When I talk to my best friend about it his answer was "go for it, if you want to be the door knob of our group of friends...everyone gets a turn". Not very nice, huh? But I see his point.

I'm conflicted. I don't know if I'm making excuses because I'm scared to make a move on someone with as much potential as him. Or if I'm having a hard time because it's one of those -wrong place wrong time-things which I should let go.

Any words of advise?

[Tony T]

ALWAYS go with your gut. It sounds like you want to go after this guy. Do it! If your relationship with his roommate had been a very good one, I would say stay away. But it was very abusive. I think you deserve something nice at this point and if the guy happens to be your ex's roommate, well tough.

Your post is vague as to whether your ex's best friend and roommate are one in the same. However, if the guy you like is a financial user that's not a good sign at all. Why would you want something like that in your life? Well, it's your call.

I would advise you to stay FWB's, get to know him better, and start looking for the kind of decent guy you deserve. Perhaps you're at the age where looks are more important than character. If that's the case, enjoy! Stop back here in a few years and let us know how it went.

[Lost at Sea]

Thank you for your honestly and imput. I'm sorry it was a little vague. There are actually four guys involved.

My recent ex whom I don't see anymore (why would I want to, right?).
My best friend who introduced me to the Fwb.
The Fwb
And his roommate.

To answer your question...I'm way past the age where looks are important to me. If I wanted looks I would try and get a relationship going with the Fwb. He's model gorgeous, but I couldn't be less interested in dating him.

The reason I am starting to like the roommate is because he seems mature, solid, down to earth, responsible, reserved and real. The fact that he is also the physical type I'm attracted to is a bonus.

The problem is that the benefit part of the Fwb is still recent. Should there be a lag time I have to wait until pursuing the roommate? I would feel weird to jump from one to the next without the "proper" amount of time.

[Tony T]

The proper amount of time is when YOU feel comfortable. Nobody can answer that for you. In the old days, when the world was stable, we had the luxury of time. Nowadays, any moment could be our last for any number of reasons.

Go for it just as soon as you feel the time is right and always go with your gut.