While I was getting over a bad relationship, I met a man who ended up as a friend (with benefits). He's gorgeous, has a fantastic body and a kick ass personality, but he's also a person who always has to be moving and needs to be with people all the time (which would drive me batty in short order). And he's a bit of a user financially.

He met me at just the right time, for him. I was reeling from a relationship where my boyfriend was more interested in the women in chat rooms, personals and porn sites then me. I had been living with no affection for god knows how long and was dealing with emotional abuse from him for the whole time. I guess I was ripe for the picking, but let me tell you it does not make you feel better to be in a Fwb relationship. It sucks even more life out of you.

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My problem is that I am getting more and more interested in his room mate. He is the strong quiet type who works hard and likes to relax and enjoy life. He isn't the player type and seems to be in the place where he could be in a relationship. Physically he is the type I'm attracted to, which is tall, muscular and big. The fwb knows about it and makes comments like "this is John's favorite beer, show, movie". The Fwb has told me John thinks I'm beautiful. And, I didn't notice but, the fwb said he acts differently around me & flirts w/me.

When talking to my best friend..his comment was and I quote "go for it, if you want to be the town door knob...everyone gets a turn". Nice friend, huh? I see his point though.

I don't know if I should say to hell with what everyone else thinks, I need to go for the person I think would make me happy. Or if I should let it go and chalk it up to bad luck & bad timing.

This guy is the kind of man I've always wanted to date, but never had the nerve to go after. It's hard for me to tell if I'm making excuses because my lack of nerve or if it's honestly a bad move/bad idea.

Advise??

[dancehead]

My advice would be to cut out the sexual side with your FWB. Make him just a friend. Make sure you have this roomates number before you do in case things get ugly with your FWB.

Wait until the dust has settled then make your move on the roomate. That way you will have your integrity intact and you still get to go for it.

You fancy him, he likes you it seems. hes a guy you would always have like to date, he could be your ideal man - take a risk.