Isn't it amazing how one memory can turn you into a mess again? It's even more amazing when it's something mundane. Not a romantic moment, not a special moment, just a random everyday moment that burned itself into your head.
Sometimes I feel like I'm walking through a field of memory landmines in my head. I never know what is going to blow up and make me start sobbing again. Anyone else ever feel like this?
__________________ Nobody wants to be monogamous- but they want their partners to be.
"He said he LIKED me, but he wasn't IN LIKE with me!" -King of the Hill
Kiwis: "ugly little fruit, needs a shave."
"oh my, oh dear."
Every time I see kiwis or hear any part of oh my oh dear, oh heavens, I think of her. Loved the english accent too...
Some are ideals which get instilled in one, for me it was adoption; she bought it up on the number of kids she wants. She would adopt because there are many unwanted babies out there that needed homes. How does a guy argue with that!? Even now I would consider adoption. She opened my mind.
New memories, new thoughts, etc... are just part of who we are. History teaches us to be better for the future.
Last edited by jerbear; 23rd May 2006 at 12:29 AM..
I pretty much discovered LA here with her, so the whole city is filled with memories. Entire blocks/neighborhoods were our hangouts, and a little too many of them, making my life a little hard for the first few months.
Its always the little stuff that matters the most and are engrained in my head, all the habits, everything that everyone would get used to after being with a person for an extended period of time.
But then again, it's our brain messing with us and trying to tell us that there were only those good times, and trying to make us forget about what the issues were. Just like jerbear said, memories will be there forever, dont try to forget them, and learn from them, mistakes or not.
I can hang out with the ex latley without thinking to much about our past. But last week we were hanging out and she stuck her tongue out at me and stared me in the eyes, I looked at her and laughed. Then she kept doing it, like 30 seconds straight, for some odd reason I could feel the tears comming to my eyes, and I told her to stop a few more times. If she had kept to it 5 more seconds I would have probably yelled at her and burst into tears. I guess it just reminded me of old times when we would lay in bed making stupid faces at eachother...not quite a memory trigger, but a trigger nonetheless.
I'm just tired of the memories. Memories I have nothing to learn from, just mourn the loss of. I miss him SO much when I get like this.
The dreams don't help either. Last night I had a bad dream where I was told he was finally dating someone else- this girl we went to school with (who would never date him nor would he ever actually date, but who is way hotter and more charismatic than me and thusly makes a great subconcious foil). Even in my dream, I collasped to the floor in pain. My ex's female friend I hate was there too, rubbing it in. But at the same time everyone was telling me he wanted me back so I went to him and tried to prove I was good enough.
In reality, I'm way more of a catch than him, hands down, no contest, even he'd probably agree wholeheartedly. My stupid brain just seems determined to tear me down at every step.
Isn't it amazing how one memory can turn you into a mess again? It's even more amazing when it's something mundane. Not a romantic moment, not a special moment, just a random everyday moment that burned itself into your head.
Sometimes I feel like I'm walking through a field of memory landmines in my head. I never know what is going to blow up and make me start sobbing again. Anyone else ever feel like this?
I find it difficult to remember things for exams or anything else, but when it comes to happy memories of the past, my brain plays them like a HD DVD player; everything is so clear, vivid and bright. It's very annoying
I find it difficult to remember things for exams or anything else, but when it comes to happy memories of the past, my brain plays them like a HD DVD player; everything is so clear, vivid and bright. It's very annoying
The worst part is having so many memories attached to everyday or my regular "fun" activities. I can't imagine doing something even so mundane as going to the movies with another guy- I simply don't want to! because I have so many good memories of doing this with him.
People say these feelings fade after time, but time doesn't move fast enough!
Happy Memorys are the worst, but everything is a memory and no one can change that, They brutaly hurt, and waking up from a false hope dream by them honestly I can't even put in to words what that feels like. Sometimes when it hits you again, the energy and life just drains out of you
But I try to be happy any way, for people are so much worse off
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