[dt1973]

Hello

I'm not really sure what I'm gonna be asking here but I'll give it a try. I used to be pretty social, but I always had issues w/ how I looked physically because I was so small, I mean I felt..i hate this word. but I felt petite around guys.. and people in general. But on the outside I don't think I showed it. I used to be like this little crazy troublemaker back in the days.. kinda reckless.. and it's not that I had some napoleon complex.. really, it was just where I grew up everyone's kinda crazy like that.. all my friends were either gangsters or druggies or skaters .. you know. So bein a small guy was not a big deal.

But there's just somethin about me that makes me more sensitive.. maybe the way I was raised, I dunno. But the point is, if I had problems with a girl I was dating, or an ex, I didn't blame it on my looks per se, but I think it effected me by making the way I delt with personal issues more in a negative tone.. It's like in some way it effects every aspect of my personality. It's made me be like this, dark.. kinda morrissey-esque person. I'm really a happy, positive, bubbly person on the inside. I am a true scorpio. Just straight out weird and troubled and sexual so that complicates everything because I have these desires but I have traits that prevents me from fulfilling desires so that further creates internal battles in my head... Trust me, I drain myself .. it's like introvert hell..

My biggest problem is that I got too tired of dealing with my own thoughts I had to isolate myself from everyone. This was during college years.. I only had enough mental energy to deal with dating and relationships. But those never lasted cause I would go for girls who had issues too.. so now I just have nobody. Not even a person to hang out with to watch a Laker game .. it's been like this for five years or so, so my motivation and all that has dwindled.. I feel drained. Maybe what I'm asking is just for some ideas .. something that will put a spark in me, I don't really know. I really haven't tried to much in reality other than sittin on my ass, so I want to start actively doing something, but what??? Thanks 4 the help

[kitten chick]

I'm an introvert as well and I find I don't have enough mental energy for every aspect of life at once. I can only focus on one or two compartments at a time. For me right now it means that I have given up relationships and am persuing my career and enjoying time with my friends. I find that focusing on one or two areas and putting the effort into that area is helpful rather than spreading myself too thin. If your goal now is to find friends then my suggestion would be to pick up some more social hobbies and join groups. Hope that helped.

[scobro]

Join a gym and start lifting weights