I've fallen for someone, but now shes fallen off the face of the earth.

Guest

hello everyone, im 19 years old and in need of some good love advice.

I started seeing a girl who was 9 years older than i. I had given her everything she wanted, clothes, flowers unexpectedly, ect. Im even the type to pull out chairs, open doors. It all started when we were working together (maybe the first mistake but i dont know?) and we struck up a good conversation about, i dont remember what I just remember looking at how beautiful this girl was and how bad i wanted to have it. I also thought that I couldn't have it at first, because of our age difference. took her to dinner one night, just as friends, then out of the blue, we happened. It started out great. we'd go to her house and watch movies, and just keep each other in good company. about 3 or 4 months into things i find out she takes pills for her depression, (no big deal) but when she told me thats when things started going down hill. she started complaining about anything and everything she could. started running me out of money. now money to me is no object when it comes to a woman (im willing to help anybody), but it seemed that i would give give give and she would take take take and than take some more. it hurt. it felt like that i was the only one putting anything into the relationship. then her grandmother died and she left for boston for the week. she came back yelling about how she didn't have any money. but then the next week she went to new york with what she said was 60 dollars in her checking account? I dont know.
we had plans for her to take me to the airport because i was leaving for illinois the next morning after she came back. first I couldn't get a hold of her for a long time, and we used to talk on the phone alot so this was a surprise to me. I finally got a hold of her (by now angry) and out of the clear blue said "I dont want to deal with the stuff in fort myers right now". well that just set me off. I thought that i was giving her just enough space i wasn't trying to be smothering, so i just said ya know what f*** it and i left to go to illinois and she was never to be heard of again. I miss her terribly (i think thats spelled right) and if i could take it all back I never would have let this happen. because even though i say all these bitter things about her, she was the best thing that ever happened to me. i just want her back. its been two months now and i still cant shake her off my back. and i guess you could say i had fallen in love with her. i just dont know what to do?