[Iwanttohope]

This is a question about a marriage of nine years, three children and 33 "other women" (one night stands + emotional affair). She is only aware of three infidelities. Marriage counseling has been tried three times. The short version is that the man feels he will be a failure if he doesn't stay and try again to save the family so he is now in individual counseling to try to pick through the embers.

Any thoughts?

[Ladyjane14]

Originally Posted by Iwanttohope

The short version is that the man feels he will be a failure if he doesn't stay and try again to save the family so he is now in individual counseling to try to pick through the embers.

The man is already a failure in terms of monomamous marriage. He cheated 33 times???? There are alot of SINGLE guys haven't had that much action.

I read your other thread. This guy is jerking you around...at least that's what it looks like to me. His wife found out, and he dumped you. Now, he wants to stand on his religious principles as a reason why he can't be with you. Funny how his Christian ethics weren't bothering him BEFORE his wife found out. It was adultery back then too, wasn't it?

If he's cheated 33 times, he's got a serious problem. Could be a sexual addiction, could be a thrill-seeking addiction....whatever his malfunction is, the good news is that it's not YOUR problem. This guy will keep going down the same path until his mindset changes. And if it's an addiction, he most likely won't be willing to change until he's hit rock-bottom.

IMHO, you're 'buying in' to what is essentially a con-man's game. And while your tears might be real enough...this guy doesn't deserve them. He'll keep trucking down his dysfunctional path, towing his wife along for company.

You can either keep crying and hoping....or you can consider yourself lucky that you're not stuck with him.