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How to forgive?

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Old 15th May 2006, 5:30 PM   #1
cynthia77
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Question How to forgive?

I'm sure some of you have read my posts ... I'm going through a rough time with my boyfriend. He lied to me constantly, has said numerous rude remarks and even hid visits to his ex (although they didn't sleep together).

My question is - how to you move on and forget what happened? I want so badly for our relationship to be how it was in the beginning. I used to daydream about him at work and it would instantly put a smile on my face. Now I daydream about him and get angry all over again at things he did to me.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to move on from this? How to teach myself to stop thinking about the negatives? I'm also going to counseling for this (I'm pregnant and it's putting a lot of stress on my baby) but counseling only seems to help for a couple days after my session ...

Any advice would be appreciated! I want my old relationship back and I desperately want to stop thinking about the negatives that happened ... I love my boyfriend and I want to move on from all of this ... I truly believe I'm the one that's holding the relationship back because I can't seem to let things go ...
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Old 15th May 2006, 5:54 PM   #2
laRubiaBonita
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i think it would be healthier for both you and the baby to leave him to rot.

you do not need his crap. you will never truely get over the hurt because he keeps adding more hurt on. he is a selfish bastard who want to do as he pleases with no regard to you.

leave him high and dry..... you will get over that pain much quicker!
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Old 16th May 2006, 10:13 AM   #3
BUTAFLY
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Cynthia Cynthia Cynthia......

Quote:
He lied to me constantly, has said numerous rude remarks and even hid visits to his ex
You know deep in your heart and in pit of your stomach what he does is not good for or or the baby. Why are you blaming yourself ?

Quote:
I truly believe I'm the one that's holding the relationship back
you can't stop thinking about it because thats your intuition trying to make you see the light. Your worth more & maybe one day you will believe that.
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Old 16th May 2006, 3:16 PM   #4
EndoftheRope
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Cynthia, my heart truly goes out to you.

You are fighting a battle that you will continue to fight in yourself until you accept that your relationship never can be what it was.

I haven't read enough of your posts to know if your boyfriend has changed his behavior, has apologized, is making amends, etc., but if he isn't, then cut loose now.

If he is, you still need to decide, from a point of logic not feelings if you really want to spend the rest of your life with this man wondering what he's really up to or whether he's hiding still more. My best advice would be no, not unless he's made absolutely heroic efforts, over a long period of time, to change his fundamental character and prove it to you.
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