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The dumbest lie they expected you to believe

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Old 12th May 2006, 9:57 AM   #1
PandorasBox
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The dumbest lie they expected you to believe

If you have been cheated on before, what was the dumbest lie your spouse or s/o ever told you, and expected you to believe? I know sometimes when someone cheats they panic and are not sure what to say, so they will come with these off the wall excuses to hand you, to cover their asses. I'm divorced and heres a few that my ex gave to me.

*When I asked him where a good part of the money in our savings was gone, (we didn't touch the savings unless for emergency purposes) he actaully told me someone must have stolen our pin number and got the money that way. The thing was, it wasn't large amounts at one time, it was right many frequent withdrawals over a peroid of time. I remember thinking oh ok so this person that stole our pin number just happens to keep making withdrawals, instead of wiping us out all at once.

*Found a box of condoms in his vehicle, we didn't use condoms. I asked him about them, he tells me he was saving them for us when we went on our vacation, was thinking of doing something different besides always not using them. The thing is, one was already gone from the 12 pk box. So when I asked him why the box was already opened and one condom was missing, he told me it was already like that when he bought the box, and it was the only brand left he liked, so he got those.

Later on found out that those condoms and money missing was being used of course on his mistress. I didn't buy not one of those stories he used on me, and it was only a few days after he was confronted on both of those things he was busted. So, what were some excuses your partner gave you, that was just ridiculas, but maybe you didn't realize at the time, or maybe you did?
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Old 12th May 2006, 10:05 AM   #2
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Its not you, it is me.

I love you but not in love with you.

Lets just be friends.

Mostly lies I say!
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Old 12th May 2006, 10:11 AM   #3
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I can't believe he actually expected you to believe the condom thing.

I remember one time I made a pot of stew for a family reunion and my ex ate it all while I was gone. Somehow she expected me to believe that the cat managed to open the refrigerator door, take the lid off the pot and eat the whole thing.
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Old 12th May 2006, 10:12 AM   #4
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But he is just a friend.....

No I never contact him.....

I just enjoy his company.....

I only got a lift home.....

Some of my faves.
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Old 12th May 2006, 10:14 AM   #5
PandorasBox
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"I can't believe he actaully expected you to believe the condom thing."


My thoughts exactly. What a dumbass he was. Guess he just thought of something off the top of his head. Boy I wonder what lies he is telling to his current g/f? Oh well, not my problem anymore.
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Old 12th May 2006, 10:19 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woggle
I can't believe he actually expected you to believe the condom thing.

I remember one time I made a pot of stew for a family reunion and my ex ate it all while I was gone. Somehow she expected me to believe that the cat managed to open the refrigerator door, take the lid off the pot and eat the whole thing.
Ugh. She was just awful, Woggle. Awful.
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Old 12th May 2006, 11:51 AM   #7
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Two of my favorites from my ex g/f years ago were:


"He is just my friend. Nothing more, nothing less."

"We didn't have sex. We came close and were naked, but I stopped him and said we can't do this." A month after she told me that, she finds out she was pregant. It wasn't mine, we had not had sex, because 2 days after she gave me that excuse I broke things off with her. They didn't have sex, but she has a child by him, WTF ever!
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Old 12th May 2006, 11:56 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JackJack
Two of my favorites from my ex g/f years ago were:


"He is just my friend. Nothing more, nothing less."

"We didn't have sex. We came close and were naked, but I stopped him and said we can't do this." A month after she told me that, she finds out she was pregant. It wasn't mine, we had not had sex, because 2 days after she gave me that excuse I broke things off with her. They didn't have sex, but she has a child by him, WTF ever!

Well hell why did she stop there? she should have said she got knocked up by sitting on a sticky toilet seat......

This thread is quite entertaining.
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Old 12th May 2006, 11:59 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by a4a
Well hell why did she stop there? she should have said she got knocked up by sitting on a sticky toilet seat......

This thread is quite entertaining.
Just this thread entertaining? Wow I thought ALL threads/forums were for pure entertainment value.
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Old 12th May 2006, 12:01 PM   #10
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Oh yeah my ex also put a few pieces of the stew in the cat's food dish. Like he would go and spoon some out into his dish.
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Old 12th May 2006, 12:01 PM   #11
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didn't have sex, but she has a child by him
Hmm, did someone call the papers or call the Pope? Miracle Baby Alert!
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Old 12th May 2006, 12:04 PM   #12
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Maybe Mary was just fooling around on Joseph and she made uo the virgin birth thing.
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Old 12th May 2006, 12:06 PM   #13
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I've thought about it, and it has to be this:

"You don't understand. It was just sex with her, I LOVE you. This is your fault, really, if you had healthy self esteem you wouldn't let things like this bother you."
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Old 12th May 2006, 12:12 PM   #14
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Oh yeah forgot this:

I'm trying to protect your feelings...
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Old 12th May 2006, 12:17 PM   #15
whichwayisup
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woggle
Maybe Mary was just fooling around on Joseph and she made uo the virgin birth thing.
Really eh. Never say never...Or maybe she sat in a puddle of splooge!
(Sorry don't mean to offend anybody who believes...)
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