[gemmab2020]

Do you know that feeling when you have just met someone, you gel together.... everything just seems so perfect.. you think that maybe this is the knight in shining armour you have been waiting for?

What makes us grow a pair of rose tinted glasses in the early stages of a relationship?

And even more, what makes them disappear so quickly?

Anyone had any bad experiences of when those rossey glasses got smashed to peices, exposing your mate for what they really are??

I am really interested in what your views are of the chemistry that goes on when you first meet someone, the first few dates, the first few weeks, and then you realise that they aren't eh person you thought they were at all.

[Vertex]

People don't lose the glasses at first because when you meet someone that seems compatible (and there are no initial problems), the adrenaline rush is very overpowering and you feel quite happy. When I met my ex for the first time, things were so great. But after you go through things together over time you start to see things that you couldn't have seen at the beginning, such as how they deal with problems and stress and general disagreements. Or, you become comfortable to the point where you treat each other differently in whatever ways. Any number of factors can contribute.

[MadDog]

There's a scientific basis behind this. Basically, in the beginning of a relationship with a person you're attracted to, your brain starts releasing lots of extra neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters (e.g. dopamine) have been shown to suppress reasoning centers of the brain.

Lots of people call this the "honeymoon period." It's the time where the other person seems perfect like you described. The reason they seem perfect is because you are overlooking the person's faults and magnifying their good points. Nothing they do seems to annoy you. This is because your brain literally can't think logically about them.

Unfortuntely, the honeymoon period ends anywhere from a few weeks up to a year into the relationship (the average is a couple months). This is due to your brain growing a resistance to the neurotransmitters along with less being released than in the beginning. This is when the relationship gets put to a test as far as whether you two are actually compatible in the long term.